Camp Bestival Shropshire 2023 – REVIEWED!

THURSDAY

Arriving at Weston Park to get our wristbands is an exciting affair, after last year’s excellent debut we’ve been looking forward to getting back here ever since. The sun is shining (for now) and we’ve got a car packed to the brim with kid-snacks and rainbow clothing, bring on Camp Bestival!

I should note, for the first time EVER in my many years of attending festivals, we are staying in a fancy Bell-Tent in Boutique Camping. It feels absolutely surreal to be able to see our tent from the car, to have a manned reception, and some extremely fancy proper toilets and showers nearby. The tent itself has off-the floor proper beds with duvets and pillows, as well as power outlets for charging our phones. I could not be more appreciative of the luxury, but do have to say that last year’s regular camping experience here was still one of the nicest I’ve experienced. So whilst I will talk a lot about how great our Boutique camping time is this weekend – rest assured that any version of camping here is going to be a good time.

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Counting Thursday as a scoping-out the site day and for settling the kids into their new surroundings, we decide to head into the arena for some food and a look at the new set-up. The most immediate thing to note is that this year, absolutely everything has been mashed into one big space. Gone are the nebulous separate fields and areas, it all seems a bit jumbled together. Yes ultimately it is easier to navigate and travel around, but I am reserving judgement on how it works until the music starts tomorrow.

For now, we opt for pizza for the kids, and my favourite returning food – Bayou Kitchen’s cajun shrimp bowl, whilst we sit in the field having a look at everything. After eating we take stroll around to the main stage merchandise tent to peruse this year’s offerings and end up basically wanting to buy one of everything. The new ‘Sustainable’ range is really nice and quite subtle in it’s design, but there are also some louder fun things like the bright towelling-robes which are perfect for hitting the wild swimming or even the morning showers. I really liked the new patches and opted to get a set of three for £15, the kids loved the plushie Love-Bot of course, and it was cool to see new Roller Disco tees too – I am still rocking my OG Bestival Roller Disco one from 2011.

I’ve said it many a time before, but there’s nothing quite like a Bestival when dusk hits. The twinkling lights come on and give me that instant rush that is unique to Bestival brand events, that there is fun to be found in every corner of this event, and that I am going to stumble into something wonderful at every turn. We decide to take a little tour around the area leading up to the Park Pool. Whilst most of it isn’t open yet, we spot a few things we’d like to try over the weekend and then head into the Weston Woods to see what the offerings are there.

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Now this is going to be a bit of a moan. The wooded areas of Bestival sites, are often the most exciting bit of the festival. Usually they are bathed in beautiful lights, covered in bunting, decorations, fun sculptures. Usually they are home to many fun activities or places to cosy up and chat. Last year the woods around the top of the site (which aren’t in use at all this year) allowed you to walk along a long stretch of lake and watch the paddleboarders and wild swimmers having a lovely time, Cirque Bijou had a beautiful canopied stage in the trees, the circus tent was nestled in there with activities, as was the Tie-Dye workshop and many other fun things on the winding paths that ultimately led to Weston’s giant adventure playpark and the tiny Train experience.

This is, so diminished from that gorgeous experience we had last year, that I was genuinely sad. This set of woods is one very short straight path with a small tent area for the sensory garden, and further up the Orchestra of Objects. Yes some of the things previously housed in the woods are now situated in the main arena but it has absolutely taken away some of their magic, and the joy of finding hidden things on your travels. It is very hard to describe if you haven’t been to a previous Bestival event, but most of my love for them comes from swapping between small cosy experiences to the great big ones of the main stage acts, and this really feels like they’ve axed a lot of those things with this site layout.

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We head over to Caravanserai to be greeted with more of the same. It has been expanded into a whole area that you now just walk into without going through a hidden doorway into an enclosed area. Yes you can now take a trolley or pushchair into there, but it has lost so much of the magic I can’t fathom the reason. Last year people just pulled their trolleys up to the side and went in on foot, and sure a better space for trolleys would have been good, but there were security controlling the flow and footfall, and it was a beautiful area with that otherworldly feel… like you’d run away with the circus. This just… isn’t it. The caravans are spread widely around a huge area so it honestly barely feels like they have relevance, the theming of a close knit caravan corral has absolutely gotten lost in the explosion, and while there are more covered areas to sit under in the middle, it means that there is no central melee of people dancing, meeting, and drinking together.

Feeling a little deflated we head back to the campsite to try and get ourselves a decent sleep before the first full day tomorrow. Getting into a proper bed at a festival is as delightful as you can imagine.

FRIDAY

We had so nearly gotten away with a summer of minimal-rain festivals, but here it is, the great British summer curse. Despite a biblical downpour this morning, the lake seems to be teeming with wild swimmers regardless – from what I can see. We walk through the Slow Motion area which is a bit smaller than last year’s great big separate field which felt nice and calmly removed from everything else. This is stuck onto the side of Boutique camping and is very… overlooked. It’s a bit weird actually that you could stick your head out of your tent and watch people getting ice-baths and hot tubbing. The Yoga and Sleep Retreat areas are tucked around the corner in a bit more of a hidden spot but it is also downhill and quite slippy now that the rain has created a mud-slide.

Over the scary raft bridge we wave to some kayakers, but you can’t really stop to enjoy looking at the lake because this is definitely just a thoroughfare and is a bit tricky to navigate with trolleys, however we pop out on the other side to find lots of fun things to do in the Craft Village. There’s a great looking leathercraft workshop, a place where you can make wooden axes and swords, and a basket weaving area – all run by Spinney Hollow, a non-profit woodland project that operates in Winchester.

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Across the field we give some circus skills a go, with hula hooping (which I am extremely poor at), diablo and wooden stilts. The stilts go exactly how you imagine in the rain, and there are children falling at you left right and centre, but it is very fun all the same. Next door the Woodland Tribe fort build is soggily underway but our littles are a bit too small and chaotic to be set free with hammers this year so we toddle off in search of something else more their speed.

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Heading back into the woods they give The Orchestra of Objects a good old bash, an area filled with interesting instruments made from industrial junk, for children to smash around and make noise with… or for adults with childish sensibilities to attempt to play Black Sabbath on. No regrets.

Over at the carousel stage in Caravanserai, we catch a bit of Funke and The Two Tone Baby, which sounds like a lot of people, but is actually just one man playing a lot of instruments. The beats are funky, the cocktail bar has opened for business, and the lampshade-decorated tent is bumping – this is the distilled feeling of Caravanserai I craved. I just wish it translated to the whole area, and not just while I’m directly inside the carousel.

Funke and the Two Tone Baby
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We take a short walk over to see Cirque Bijou’s aerial show, an act based on birds and conservation performed by incredibly skilled artists in feathered costumes, hanging from high ropes. Following their fabulous performance, we tried to join in on the bird-mask making workshop, but it was absolute carnage so we opted to get our craft items to-go. This was actually really nice of them to let us do that, as it meant the kids had an in-tent activity to do one morning!

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Ducking into the Big Top, we catch a bit of the very funny and brilliant Horrible Histories (90’s kids represent), before heading over to the main stage for Bestival legends, The Cuban Brothers. What can I say about Los Hermanos Cubanos that I haven’t already said over the years? They are an institution, not to be missed, equal parts filth and fun. We might be shouting “Kenny The Pasta” instead these days, but they’re still out there breakdancing, getting semi-naked and being naughty, just the way it should be. Out in the crowd we spot Mike’s family dancing along, his daughters visibly cringing but loving the show, and it’s just really nice to see the spirit of Camp Bestival extending to even the families of performers. Everyone is there, having a good time together – despite the ‘wardrobe malfunction’ and threat of sexy favours.

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Next up on the main stage is the bafflingly weird Confidence Man. The duo hit the stage in what I can only describe as black silk zoot suits with some kind of inner frame which allows them to move in extremely creepy ways. Their unique electro-pop sound is somewhat overshadowed by the fact that they are just absolutely bizarre, but this places them right in the ‘perfect for Bestival’ zone in my opinion. The Venga-goths change into a glowing cone bra and epaulettes combo as the rain starts up again, and the crowd seem to be loving them.

Confidence Man
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In the Big Top, Badly Drawn Boy is adorably awkward and charming, with the soft sounds of ‘The Shining’ which he dedicates to “…everyone who has had a crap time lately… is that all of us?”. About a Boy movie song hit ‘Something To Talk About’ has everyone in the tent singing along, and Damon tells us “My kids are here, I think it’s my youngest’s first time seeing me perform” – again, it is so telling of this festival’s ethos and vibe, that artists can bring their families with them to enjoy it. I also particularly liked his cover of Madonna’s ‘Like A Virgin’ morphing into ‘Silent Sigh’, a truly gorgeous moment of peace and calm amidst the bustle of the festival.

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After a pit stop to run around on the Love-Bot (our omnipotent and terrifying ruler) runway, and then having a go on the new Earth-Bot slide, we get ourselves over to the main stage again for Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Sophie is rocking the most Bestival appropriate outfit of the weekend, resplendent in swishy orange and yellow fringe and a pink sparkly flapper bodysuit, she looks more than a little like one of the Firey’s from Labyrinth – you know, the ones who take their own heads off. I’m into it, and would like to wear that outfit myself. Unfortunately the rain is rolling in heavy at this point and a lot of people are running for shelter.

“I don’t know about you but I’ve been checking the weather for this so much… but actually, it’s kind of amazing isn’t it… you’ve just got to give in and go for it, dance in the rain, get wet…” she says, presumably heading back to a hotel after this… everyone sleeping in a tent tonight is less enthusiastic about the situation I assure you. Regardless, it’s a banging set of nostalgic hits for those of us of a certain age – well played Bestival – like ‘Take Me Home’, a medley of ‘Lady (Hear Me Tonight’ Groovejet ‘If This Ain’t Love’ and ‘Sing It Back’, and her 2001 hit ‘Murder On The Dancefloor’.

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Rudimental are the Friday night headliner of dreams, giving us absolutely everything we need to get rowdy. Incredible vocals, bouncy beats and a frenetic light show that has every single body in the arena jumping – especially now the rain has dissipated. ‘Dancing Is Healing’ really encapsulates the feeling at Camp Bestival tonight, and we love the Natalie Imbruglia ‘Torn’ cover too. “Where my old school ravers at? Get some little people up on shoulders!” is the call from DJ Locksmith that creates a scene, there are suddenly hundreds of kids on shoulders with glowsticks, going like they were born in a club. These kids sure know how to party, and that my friends, is parenting done right.

‘Feel The Love’ and ‘Waiting All Night’ are absolutely worth waiting all night for, even if the rain has begun again and is pouring down our necks, they never disappoint and this has been a cracking night one, leaving the stage with “Bestival, you are amazing, and we are Rudimental!”.

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SATURDAY

Starting Saturday with a bang, we head over to The Mum Club Brunch Takeover at The Literary Institute tent, for cocktails, glitter and meeting people. With a 10am start time the drinks are suitably breakfast-y with Mimosas, Bloody Marys and much needed Espresso Martinis on offer. Having not eaten actual breakfast this may be considered foolish but we had a very nice time and chatted to heaps of lovely people there, including co-founder of The Mum Club – Lauren Webber. We talked a bit about the ethos and beginnings of The Mum Club and how they are re-creating the ‘village’ for isolated mums everywhere, and reaching out with help advice and support to those in need.

Following this is an activity session run by Festival of the Girl, a collective who aim to provide fun education for families about stereotyping, patriarchal structures and systems which hold girls back in life. The event was really aimed at ages 7+ but they made everyone feel welcome, including our almost 4 year olds, for some gender-pay gap training (with coloured plastic balls) and language stereotype challenging (with fierce unicorn colouring and mission statements). It’s really nice to see these type of events being included in the CB line-up, supportive and uplifting programmes which you may never hear of or come across otherwise.

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Due to extreme post-cocktail munchies, we head over to The Feast Collective – which has had a total overhaul. Gone is the lovely giant tent with bierkeller style seating down the middle, and multiple eateries inside. Instead there is a Farmer’s Kitchen, which is selling various cheeses and meats. There are seats outside yes, and some more food trucks, but it has lost a little of that cosy factor, especially when the weather is so changeable. However, the new bigger food stage for Bocaloco grills and bbq demos is brilliant – and not just because they’re giving out freebies. We hang out and listen to a talk about the delicious properties of jackfruit, whilst chomping down on a poke-bowl which is absolutely delightful.

Over on the main stage Mr. Tumble is singing ‘Let’s Go Fly A Kite’ from Mary Poppins, which is one of my least favourite songs to hear after my kid adopted it for 4 solid months earlier this year. The show is very colourful though, and there are squillions of kids on shoulders having the time of their lives. Mine was asleep and missed the whole lot, including the follow up of Dick & Dom, who are top humans but not great DJ’s. I’m also mad at them for A. Rickrolling us, and B. mixing it with Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’. Alert the authorities.

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When the small being awoke, we took ourselves over to have a go on The World’s Biggest Bouncy Castle which is as you can imagine, fucking huge. Now, they have done a good job here of separating kids into two categories for bouncing… there’s a big kids line, and a small kids line, and they alternate turns to minimise collision risk of disproportionate size whilst bouncing. The numbers however, are at chaos levels and the cohorts are set free to colonize the castle as they please. Hoards of children flying at each other in a WWE style rumble is exactly as terrifying and funny as I expected.

I may never recover from the side-splitting laughter I experienced watching one child quite literally fly over the head of another, only to land in almost a headstand against a turret of the castle. We escape with our lives thankfully, and head over to see what the Fancy Dress Parade is all about. This year’s Wild theme is almost 99% just people wearing crap leopard print items of clothing. Shropshire has not yet hit the highs of fancy dress effort that the Dorset original has, we need more effort next year please. Regardless, the competition and parade are already over-subscribed and they haven’t brought enough Rosettes so there are inevitably some crying kids around. There are however some excellent entries and everyone is having a lovely time watching them strut their stuff on the stage.

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Opting to find stuff to do since we can’t partake in the parade, we head over to the Soft Play tent, ours are just within the age range and head in to escape the heat of the afternoon. There are toys everywhere, ball-pit, stackable blocks and ride-on cars. There is luxury to be found in having a jolly good sit-down while they play, and there were even craft activities being led in one corner. Captain Barnacle’s Pirate Show is another strange wonder to have stumbled in on, the bit where he pretended to take his own eyeball out was of particular concern to my child, but we enjoyed the part where he showed us all of his party pants (less lewd than it sounds, more lewd than the children realised).

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Elvana are another stand-out returner from last year, this time Elvis is dressed in a white jumpsuit with a sparkly orange cape, and they’re throwing down some absolute tunes whilst two young Elvi (? Elvises?) in the front row dance around joyfully. “Sometimes we like to sing an Elvis song and start a circle pit… ok ok we’ll do the World’s first Elvis conga instead” they laugh before heading into a grungy cover of ‘Blue Suede Shoes’, but we love watching everyone get rowdy for ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ the most.

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Sarah Cox brings giant inflatable Rubiks cubes and a huge party to the stage, but the arena is stacked for spaceman Sam Ryder who looks like his Nanna has been on top form with the crochet-hook again. Lavender and acid green flames lick baggy knitted basketball shorts and a cardigan, it’s certainly a lewk, and I like it. Of course he plays his Eurovision hit ‘Space Man’ but honestly the true star is his cover of Paramore’s ‘Misery Business’ what a bop.

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Over in the Big Top, Caity baser is heating things up having toned down absolutely none of her sweary songs (I approve wholeheartedly) and the tent is absolutely rammed full of people, while in Caravanserai we see Cirque Bijou doing an excellent set of juggling and acro skills to the background sounds of reggae coming from the carousel stage. Groove Armada are playing an epic DJ set on the main stage, but we are loving some downtime with Des O’Connor (no not that one) the piano man at The Bandstand. The dusk is warm, all these gorgeously golden-lit faces are joining in the chorus of Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ and Eurythmics’ ‘Sweet Dreams’, it is truly the beautiful point of being here. The community and camaraderie, the soul of Bestivals’ past has made it into this iteration and I’m so glad.

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Off in search of food we go, on our way to the main stage for tonight’s headline act – The Human League. Entering the very Tron-esque stage set-up, they immediately launch into some absolute classics like ‘Don’t You Want Me’ and gain the appreciation of the home crowd when frontman Philip Oakey says “…what a great location. Not that I’m biased but I’m from the Midlands… Leicester actually”. Singers Joanne Catherall and Susan Ann Sulley are both right in that sultry/mysterious pop diva zone to watch, and their voices soar across the arena over the 80’s synth waves. You can’t help but be drawn in by it all, even if you aren’t a particular fan.

Finishing up with Oakey’s own ‘Electric Dreams’ which very well could be the Camp Bestival theme song, is one of the hugest sing-alongs I’ve ever witnessed. The Human League were a truly fantastic headline choice this weekend.

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SUNDAY

It may be early, but kicking things off is national treasure and stone-cold legend Mr. Motivator for some morning main stage aerobics. 30 years in the game celebrations today too, the man has barely aged and can still rock an incredible neon outfit like no other. I wish he had merchandise for sale, 10/10 would purchase. Following on from this a decent crowd turnout to watch the Lionesses unfortunately lose their WC final game, but I think it’s really cool that that this was shown and prioritised as an event here – the times they are a’changing.

In some kind of unhinged sleep-deprived parenting choice (led by the whims of an almost-four-year-old of course) we decide to queue up to give Roller Disco a go at Bollywood. I do have a few axes to grind here though, it must be said. Bollywood has always been a giant rave tent of delight. Big enough to get your dance on, decorated and entered via a lovely colourful tower flanked with Elephants and such, beats all day long. Once when the roller disco came to IOW Bestival, it was tucked in the corner of said tent but the dancefloor remained.

This year, it has all gone a bit Pete Tong in my opinion. There is only the roller disco floor… which later on in the day is taken over as Bollywood for dancing. This means that the area itself is tiny in comparison to previous iterations of Bollywood and there is a very diminished number of people who can get into it when it’s being used as a dancefloor. It also means that when being used as a roller disco, the skate check and seats for putting on your skates are outside in the elements instead of under cover. It having rained this morning meant that ALL of us suffered soaked and muddy socks on the now sodden mats that had been put down, AND that it was absolutely deadly trying to get onto the disco floor itself, AND that wet muddy skates were about to be utilised on the disco floor. I have absolutely no clue why wasn’t thought of and managed a bit better to be honest, it made for two diminished events instead of the great addition I thought roller disco could have been.

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In the end we made it onto the floor for some extremely chaotic laps, run to the sound of Disney hits such as the very apt Frozen song ‘Let It Go’ which of course was aimed at everyone holding on to the railings for grim death. It was actually very fun, until one of our party fell down the muddy slippy steps on their way out and got gouged by a sticking up peg/bit of metal… can’t help but think the mashing together of roller disco and Bollywood was a budgetary concern instead of a comfort one.

Off we go to look into some other places instead, the nearby Dressing Up Tent is full of people looking for sparkly outfits and glitter face paint, Cirque Bijou are doing an amazing trapeze show and the drums are rolling in the African Activities workshop. We poke our heads into the Tie-Dye tent which looks fantastic once again, and watch a Dinosaur riding the mini ramp at Tic-Tac Skate School. Tic Tac also had a design-a-deck competition, which might be high on our list to do next year I think.

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We drop into The Feast Collective to grab fruit platters with spicy salt (trust me, it’s a must do) and feel quite smug about the children eating something other than chips and pizza this weekend, whilst watching the retro funfair swing boats go impossibly high. In the Big Top Hip Hop Karaoke is one of the best things I’ve witnessed all weekend, we have to teach these kids about the old school somehow. With that it’s off to the Adventure Play Park up above the camp grounds. Unfortunately here is where I have my second massive gripe of the day.

Firstly, having separated the arena from these woods, it means there is nothing fun to do on the way to the play park and it is a huge undertaking to get there instead of a pleasant walk through the forest. Last year there was beautiful lighting in the trees, art and sculptures everywhere, places to sit, things for kids to do etc. this year it is barricaded off except for the route through, which is truly a disappointment. I petition CB to reconnect this area next year, please please please.

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The adventure play park itself is awesome, with varying sizes of equipment aimed at different ages of children, and a really cute miniature railway which you can buy a ticket to ride on. Our kiddos absolutely LOVED all of this… until… one of them needed to go to the toilet. WHY OH WHY were there no toilets there this year? I do not understand why you would allow people to walk that far, to a completely remote location, for children, and not include at least one toilet. This is a huge oversight on behalf of the festival, and if you want to know if a child shits in the woods? They certainly do at Camp Bestival because there is no choice. Last year there was a small bank of adult sized, and kid sized composting loos available as well as a few portaloo stop points throughout the forest. We asked the people running the railway and they said they had had so many people angrily asking them where the facilities were for the area, apparently they had also requested some but been denied by the organisers.

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After another hike back to the arena we head over to see 80’s legends T’Pau, with Carol Decker yelling “It feels good to be home” who grew up in Shropshire. It’s mostly a crowd sitting in the sunshine to be honest, but they provide a very pleasant lazy Sunday vibe. East 17 are delayed and miss their Big Top slot, but are filled in for by the awesome East Angles Brass Band playing some very funky pop covers. Rob Da Bank is taking a DJ slot over on the roller disco, and Aussie DJ Hot Dub Time Machine is getting the main stage up and dancing with ‘Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie’ shouting “No-one is too cool for ABBA!”.

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In the Big Top comedian Dylan Moran is living up to his Bernard Black persona complaining about the lights, the sound and the photographers within two minutes of being on stage. He’s right though, due to the smooshing together of everything in one big arena, the sound bleed from other stages and fairground rides is thoroughly awful. Even standing in the tent from about midway, it is almost impossible to hear him which means a lot of people are leaving after only a few lines of his set.

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Ella Henderson has gathered one of the biggest crowds of the weekend, especially drawing in the teenage contingent who are all singing along to ‘Crazy What Love Can Do’. She has a gorgeous voice and just radiates happiness on stage. East 17 finally make it to the Big Top for their Christmas Party, to the squeals of middle aged women all around the tent. Of course there are dance moves, of course there is ‘Stay Another Day’ but I can’t pretend it’s my jam at all.

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Melanie C is on the main stage rocking her signature sporty look and confidently owning the stage. Did you know she’s had 11 UK number 1 hits? I didn’t, very impressive. Her voice is great, there’s a kid out front with “I wanna be a spice girl when I grow up” sign and everyone is loving it.

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Now… In a moment of madness or pure comedic juxtaposition, someone has booked Napalm Death. I could not believe my eyes when I read it on the schedule months ago, but yes here they are. Barney and co from Meriden, the grindcore monsters of death metal, are at Camp Bestival. The festival of colour, light and harmony. In fairness, you’ll struggle to find a band whose ethics and political commentary align more with those of Bestival – socialism, anarchy, flipping the status quo, doing better for the planet and those around you. I suppose they’re actually a perfect fit…

So when they explode onto the stage with all the subtlety of a stampeding horde of wildebeest, and Barney’s frenetic movements around stage are revealed to the CB crowd in all their glory I expect rejection. What I actually see is a circle pit. A real life circle pit at Camp Bestival – I am shook to my very core. “We are a local band for local people” Barney jokes before waxing lyrical on how ‘Illegal migrants’ is a ridiculous term and damning the government for their policies, to rapturous applause. We also see Rob Da Bank sneaking into the Big Top to join the fun and brawl of it all. One Dad with two teenage daughters is probably in the bad books though, having walked into the tent and heard about two bars of the next song, one daughter bursts into tears and they have to leave. Poor little sausage.

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Barney is in full flow yelling about religious persecution and recent laws across the world being “…an assault on women’s basic rights of bodily autonomy” as well as “the smear on Trans people’s imperative to just live their lives”. Is it too much to wish that they had done a collaboration with Festival Of The Girl this weekend? Crowd surfers, the worlds’ shortest song, and a final cover of Dead Kennedys’ ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ is the rallying cry we all need. What a truly truly fucking fantastic energetic set. Whoever booked them gains my undying love.

In a complete change of pace, our final headliner of the weekend is indie rock powerhouse Primal Scream. Hitting the stage in a sparkly silver suit, frontman Bobby Gillespie oozes that elusive air of unbothered coolness, before he completely lets go to sing ‘Movin’ On Up’ alongside thousands of voices in the crowd. It’s clear this is final-night behaviour, every single parent out there is having a good old boogie much to their children’s delight or chagrin, and I adore it.

‘Come Together’ is fantastic, ‘Country Girl’ and ‘Rocks’ have everyone moving with them, there are kids handing out glowsticks, bubbles, happy faces everywhere you turn, and we have an enormous bucket of churros. Oh Camp Bestival, I do love you.

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After a mini raft of fireworks, pulling up to the FOH in a sequinned kimono, Rob Da Bank thanks everyone for coming to this year’s event, before announcing that The Red Devils will be doing a night parachute drop above us right now. Now look, it’s all very impressive and fun, but don’t know if I can get on board with someone who says to themself “yeah, I’ll just pop myself out of a plane at night and hurtle towards the ground before hoping my parachute opens… oh, and then you know what, it might be a bit dark so I’ll also set myself on fire so everyone can see me”. I’d have liked to have seen them during the day, but apparently wind conditions wouldn’t allow – maybe next year.

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Oh and yes, we missed the iconic Kate Winslet reading bedtime stories in her pyjamas and we will FOREVER BE MAD ABOUT IT. Peace out Camp Bestival, you’re the real MVP… but please fix the jumble sale of a site – we want our separate areas back.

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Camp Bestival Shropshire 2022 – REVIEWED!

Camp Bestival Shropshire 2022

Thursday

When I tell you I screamed when I heard Camp Bestival was coming to Shropshire, I mean you could have heard me from the moon. As a long-time fan and attendee of the original IOW Bestival, as well as the later Dorset version, and having been to one CB-BC (before Child) – travelling for an hour to a Besti-vent instead of around 5 including a ferry trip… is a LUXURY. Praise be to the DaBank fam for deciding to give us a shot up here. The location is Weston Park, we’ve got a car full of rainbow clothing, and one very excited toddler – let’s go!

Arriving through Green gate, we’re pleasantly surprised to find ourselves parking so close to the campsites that we can literally see our car from where we’re setting up camp, though there’s a part of me that thinks both this orientation and access may change a bit next year with bigger ticket sales. We’re definitely not early doors, there are heaps of tents here already and the family set up is WAY plushier than your regular festival garb. A family near to us genuinely has a whole dining room and kitchen set up, it’s wild!

I do feel I need to address the toilet issue… this year there are no portaloos to be found on site (except for the single accessible toilet in each camp), instead we have long drop compost loos that look like proper Aussie dunnies/redneck moon-and-stars style toilets, which are very tall, and feel very unstable if I’m honest. The smell isn’t bad due to being largely open to the wind, but there’s a bit of me that thinks they would be absolutely deadly slippy and dangerous if the rain really came down. There’s absolutely no grip on the steps inside, and the chained up loo roll runs along a wall which would almost certainly get soaked in any sideways weather. My main complaint was the fact that there were 10, yes only 10 – for the entire Green campsite. No kids ones either, despite these being available in the main arena.

We took a walk around the campsite and into the main arena, after being confused and disappointed that what looked like an entrance on the map between Green camping and the Big Top – just doesn’t exist? There seems to be absolutely no rhyme or reason to not putting another entrance through from Green camp to the arena, and making everyone walk the entire uphill loop of camping to get in, especially when carting around wagons full of children and their gubbins. Please just make it easier on everyone I beg, festivals with kids are already tiring – and this is a family festival.

Anyway, as we walk into the arena we are greeted by the beautiful and familiar sight of the flowy silky rainbow flags waving in the wind, pretty fairy lights everywhere and just… colour. Every Bestival site is beautiful, but there is so much crammed into a small space here, it is just joyful to the eyes. It’s definitely not busy yet though, I’ve a sneaking suspicion that a lot of sales this first year are non-camping people who are testing the waters before committing – I feel next year could be very busy in comparison.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

We decide to amble around and look at everything, before grabbing some of the most incredible festival food I’ve ever consumed from Mexican Seoul. Barbacoa beef tacos, and gochujang fried chicken… it feels like I’m at some trendy Shoreditch restaurant not a field in the Midlands. The site isn’t huge, you can basically walk everywhere within 5 minutes (except for the Temple Wood) but there are some nice little pockets which feel distinct and separate enough to change the experience as you move around. Roll on tomorrow…

Friday

After the saga of ‘Toddlers-first night-in-a-tent’, we are up bright and early to don rainbow colours and head out into the festival for day one proper. Over in the Ha Ha Land area, there are already heaps of kids in the Tic Tac Skate Workshop learning to land board flips on the grass, and the shop seems to be doing a roaring trade in board set-ups as well. The level of ‘festival souvenir’ has really peaked since the days of bootleg tshirts outside the gates hasn’t it? The Extreme Bike Battles Show has a bmxer and motorbike rider facing off doing tricks in an impossibly small area, to a sea of tiny awed faces, wondering if they can do a bar spin off the park bench at home. Good luck with the inevitable slew of injuries, fellow parents!

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Dungaree darlings Lucy and Yak have a veritable social media palace set up including a huge shop, lounge, and a pink campervan for taking selfies. We grab a festival wristband from them and a free tote bag for signing up which is nice, everyone loves a festival freebie – so then we head next door for to the Thatchers sampling lounge for some cold cider from the very cute Barrel shaped bus.

Heading over to The Feast Collective, a giant marquee full of delicious eats with a DJ booth, and lots of outdoor seating areas to chow down – we are caught in the drift of the most incredible smell, and as we come over the rise it’s clear where it’s coming from… an entire side of beef cooking in a giant rack over and open flame. Shropshire Lad’s pre-order beef sandwiches with something that sounds absolutely magical ‘three-day-gravy’. There were some slots up for grabs without pre-booking but the queues were understandably vast so we missed out this time.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Anyway, It’s such a hot day we sneak ourselves under a shady canopy and grab a fruit platter from The Lille Fruit Cabin with Vietnamese spiced salt to dip into, and a ridiculously good strawberry smoothie which saved our souls. I also feel particularly smug that the toddler is eating something healthy at a festival, 10/10 parenting thanks. While we eat we are treated to the sound of a fairground band… who are on stilts playing Eye of the Tiger. Nothing surprises me at Besti anymore, but it definitely delights me.

Nearby in the same field is the Wonky Bikes park where children are attempting to vehicularly assault each other and their parents (very entertaining chaos), The Scouts are giving demos and letting kids toast marshmallows in their fire-pits, and there seem to be kids wielding bubble guns all around us so it’s just bloody beautiful everywhere. It’s quite hard to describe actually because it feels like you’re never not looking at something interesting or pretty, it’s a little bit overwhelming at times, until the next exciting thing happens to distract you.

We check out the World’s Biggest Bouncy Castle, but determine it to be way too chaotic for small beings (it looks like the Hunger Games in there, I’m scared) and instead opt for watching people having a go at swinging on the giant Trapeze. Again, where else can you possibly walk from one experience to the next like this? The vintage fair ground rides are absolutely full of gleeful kids, proving that the classics never disappoint, it’s all very twee and makes my soul sigh.

Over in Temple Wood we head to the absolutely gigantic adventure playground which is positively teeming with shrieking wildlings. There are three sizes of play equipment so all ages are catered for, and there’s even a tiny steam train giving rides around the park (for a small fee) which is full of excited children and their equally excited Dads.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Elsewhere in the forest in a little secluded dell, a joyful cacophony can be found at The Orchestra of Objects – a playful pile of tubes, pipes, wood and jangly things for kids to bash around and make music. Just another of these thoughtful little playspaces that take Bestival events to another level and makes it feel immersively fun, like you’ve just stumbled upon something magical and secret. If nature itself is your jam, you can join in on one of the tree identification guided walks, stop at one of the little tents offering wood weaving workshops, or give whittling a go.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Even if you spent a full week at this festival, you wouldn’t be able to do everything there’s just so much. I’m going to have to be more brief to fit as much in as possible here. Elsewhere in the woods we tried out some circus skills like stilt walking, diablo and poi spinning, before catching an absolutely stunning acrobatic show by Cirque Bijou who had beautifully feathered ‘birds’ doing daring displays hanging from the trees. We tried our hand at tie-dye which was quite messy and very fun – you take your creation home in a Ziploc bag for washing, and I can tell you that despite the child rather excessively tipping half a bottle of dark violet ink on hers, it actually turned out really nicely and she was so proud to wear it to nursery after the festival.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Coming out of the woods back into Ha Ha Land, we take a chill half hour to play in the Pirate Ship Sandpit, across from a huge under 5’s Soft Play tent, a Baby Chill Out Zone, and a tent entirely dedicated to giving festival makeovers like glitter, facepaint, henna and hair braiding. I genuinely can’t think of an age group that isn’t catered to in some way here.

After that little interlude we hit up the H&M Kids Science Stage and Workshop Tent and were met with a host of things for (slightly bigger) kids to do, all aimed around STEM learning. Lego, tower building, slime making, colouring sheets, architectural drawing… you name it. They also thoughtfully gave out certificates and badges, and there was even a Camp Bestival special edition of The New Scientist magazine which my inner nerd was very impressed by.

Before heading over to the Park Stage to actually you know, see some bands play (we kind of forgot that we were even at a music festival today) we caught a bit of Karauke in Pig’s Big Ballroom, which is a really cute tent full of comfy old sofas and a little stage. Karauke is exactly what it sounds like by the way – a Ukulele band plays covers for you to Karaoke over. Paint It Black was a personal favourite, shout out to whoever chose that one, I’ve never heard it on the Ukulele before and possibly never will again in my life.

On the Park Stage, The Proclaimers are tempting me to walk 500 miles in the opposite direction… no that’s not fair, they’re good just not my vibe. Plenty of people out there were having a lovely time, they were just all over the age of 50. Luckily there’s a plucky child giving the plant-based sausage rodeo bull a go, and it is absolutely bound to end in tears, so I’m off to watch a bit of that.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

After popping back to The Feast Collective to grab some dinner (fried oyster mushrooms and chimichurri from The Cajun Rainbow – JFC they were good), we catch a bit of Scouting for Girls, or to be more precise we catch a lot of drunk parents caterwauling ‘She’s So Lovely’ right over the top of Scouting for Girls. Yeah they’re pretty cringe but quite fun, there’s lots of ‘oggie oggie oggie’-ing and telling people to hug each other, Drop Dead Fred would barf everywhere at this mush.

Now for something completely different. We head over to my soul-space, my favourite place, the place a little bit of my festival heart will forever reside in – Caravanserai. How can I explain this to you. The front doors are unassuming, a little dark entryway under a beaten up sign, flanked by high walls made of roughshod steel and boards. Inside however, is the junkyard circus-runaway, 70’s caravan park of dreams. Around the edges are little open fronted houses with psychedelic wallpaper and velvet lampshades, cut in half caravans with chandeliers, and vintage waltzer booths or little tea tables everywhere to be sat at. The day is dimming and Caravanserai is lit by hundreds of bulb and fairy lights, we grab ourselves a fancy cocktail from the bar and head into the old carousel towards the stage adorned with more tasseled and bejeweled lampshades, to see the gorgeously talented Mr. Bruce (of Correspondents fame).

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Mr. Bruce is Besti fan favourite, for very good reason – he is one of the most intensely electric performers you will ever see in your lifetime and it’s both a crying shame AND absolutely perfect that he’s out here playing on one of the tiniest stages at the festival. Being up close and in the moment with him is unforgettably fantastic. The mix of electro-swing, hip-hop, drum & bass… it’s weird and wonderful and so completely unlike anything else out there. New song ‘I am Disaster’ is excellent and his chaotic dancing has the entire tent whipped up into a frenzy along with him. There’s an inevitably sad shout out to Correspondents band mate Tim ‘Chucks’ Cole who died unexpectedly in 2020, and a brilliant cover of Whitney Houston’s ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’ and I just can’t rave enough about him. If you ever have the chance, do not miss the opportunity to catch Mr. Bruce.

On the main stage, London girl Mae Muller is out in a two piece outfit that looks like it’s made from a towel (but she looks great in it, how dare she) and she’s shouting out a fan in the front row who she chats to on Instagram. It’s the teen’s Birthday and it’s an adorable interaction that kid is going to remember forever, even if Mae quips that she’s been told she isn’t allowed to swear in the Birthday song she’s about to sing titled ‘HFBD’ – iykyk. It’s her lyrics from another song that really get me though “…you don’t need a girlfriend, you need a therapist” – I am absolutely all about this being the narrative our female youth are getting instead of the crap we were fed as kids. Big up Mae Muller, it’s going on my playlist.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

In the Big Top, Gok Wan’s DJ set is going off to a pretty decent sized crowd, before our (extremely late billing – why so late CB?) headliner: Becky Hill. Under a swirling LED backdrop and amid clouds of smoke, a spraypainted old style phone box stands in the centre of the Park Stage – lit with the name ‘Becky Hill’ where ‘telephone’ should be. If she turns out to be the next Doctor Who, I may actually watch it.

There’s a fairly long winded little conversation act in the phone box, in which we can hear her saying something like “…yeah I’m about to headline a festival can I call you later” which I suppose could be considered a subtle Dom Joly tribute (who incidentally is also performing here this weekend). Anyway, despite the fact that it’s a little stilted, when she pops out of the phone-box aided by her dancers, she is clearly here to party and definitely looks the part – in the most eye poppingly bright neon green and pink jacket, skirt, corset top, and monster stacked platform rainbow boots. Two female acts to close the first night at CB, and a female DJ on the decks – those boots were made for stomping, the patriarchy.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Becky shouts out to Shropshire and the Midlands in general, saying this is the closest she’ll ever get to playing a home crowd, as she’s from Worcestershire – before the stage is lit up with sparklers and fire cannons as she dances around on her enormous death shoes. The crowd is about 80% teenage girls at the moment, who are screaming their heads off, and Becky’s deep melodic voice is absolutely incredible. She calls out “Who here likes drum and bass? I like drum and bass, it’s my favourite genre of music. We’re going to take the tempo up to 174 finally” for ‘Here For You’ but the standouts for me were the big beats Gecko ‘Overdrive’ and ‘Afterglow’. There’s nothing like a night full of lasers and dancing with wild abandon though, is there. I personally think Becky Hill absolutely smashed that performance, and by the sheer amount of people who were out jumping in that crowd, I’d say she did her home region proud.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Saturday

Saturday morning brings a light rain shower, but nothing is going to dampen our spirits and it soon brightens up for us to walk the colourful site again. Today we pop in on the African Activities tent to give some group drumming a go (very fun), then we laze about on the soft chairs in Bollywood for a while listening to Mr. B – Gentleman Rhymer in the Big Top (also very fun). The arena is definitely busier today, it seems like a lot more day tickets have been sold, which is understandable with tonight’s headliner.

Into the woods we go to check out the Wild Swimming and Paddleboarding area across the water from Slow Motion. Extremely jealous as it’s hot today – why oh why didn’t I pack the swimmies. Slow Motion itself is a lovely quiet tucked away area, with everything from wood fired hot tubs to extreme ice-baths, slow flow yoga sessions and even a tent specifically for napping. If I was a different kind of person, I think getting up early for yoga and a dip in the lake would be flipping lovely. Alas I am the kind of person who crawls out of the tent nest groaning and eats a kitkat.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Under the Sharp’s Doom Bar canopy, we stumble upon a gang of kids attempting to bury a Dad in the sandpit – which covers the entire dancefloor of the space, and includes a rather jazzy little desert island DJ booth. After a little while people come round with free samples of beer, and of Chef Niall Keating’s beer battered sausages with curry sauce. Now that is service.

Over near the Lovebot (I love you Lovebot, what an icon) we catch a leek juggling/acrobatic performance at Rimsky’s Yard, check out Junior Jungle in the Bollywood tent to throw some shapes, and see a bit of a slightly confused parade go by – complete with an entire Dalmation family in tow. Actually the costumes today have been brilliant, we saw a host of Minions as well but our favourite was the family who came as Freddie Mercury in different guises. The Dad was in the pink cleaning outfit – epic.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Up next on the main stage, not to be missed EVER – The Cuban Brothers. Spinning tunes is Kengo on the decks, with Juan joining him for synchronised dance in their snazzy red suits, before “…everyone’s Uncle Miguel” hits the stage. Half Hip-Hop, half drug-baron is the vibe I feel – laughing “We’re the only band who’ve had the privilege of being at every single Bestival and Camp Bestival ever” before getting the crowd full of kids to shout “Kenny que pasa” instead of ‘The Bastard’. “Thank you all for not swearing… this could have been really fucking bad” almost makes me spit my drink out – especially since backstage he had told me there were actually signs in their dressing room asking them not to swear, because this is a family festival.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Ahh well, you’re never going to reign these boys in – their set is full of hip hop, break dancing, flips and fun, and as expected, during ‘Ante Up’ Miguel takes his trousers off to reveal a pair of pants with a tiger face on. “Sorry for the wardrobe malfunction, it’s the eye of the tiger” he quips before shouting out to all the parents bringing their kids here this year. Miguel notes that this is the future of music – and why Camp Bestival was made in the first place. The small moment of sincerity is short lived though. So their set isn’t the filthiest I’ve witnessed by a long shot, and they’ve been bloody brilliant as always, but I can’t help but notice some parents covering children’s ears while he rambles on about his 4th penis reduction surgery in Zurich this year and wonder if they’ve written them off as trouble (which I assume is their ultimate goal to be honest) but my child is currently attempting to do all of Juan’s breakdancing moves on the floor, so I’m going to give them a solid thumbs up as always.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Next up Sara Cox (of radio 1 fame), is giving a DJ set, and although she looks absolutely resplendent in a sparkly outfit – is reminiscent of every hateful school disco I ever went to. The tunes are classic cringe and yes, I do know everyone else loves that but honestly, I wish she’d been on in a tent somewhere instead. I will allow for one amendment to that though – watching a huge crowd of people sit down and do ‘Oops Upside Your Head’ was quite funny, especially all the people dressed as morris dancers.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Eventually the last peaks of burning sun die down, and we are met by the extremely bright pulsing lights of Example. Wearing Mc Hammer pants and a smiley acid tee he is clearly full of energy for this tonight as he jumps and runs around the stage. The crowd is going absolutely bonkers for it, a writhing mass of teens bouncing as one as he yells “kids on shoulders, kids on shoulders” to get as many in the air as possible. It’s a great amped up set to get everyone in the mood.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Next up: the man, the legend, Fatboy Slim. You absolutely cannot live in this world without being a fan of something this man has produced, and although 10.15pm is a very late start for a headliner – the Park Stage area is absolutely rammed with people – and yes, kids galore, mostly wearing ear defenders in preparation.

Bursting on stage in an inflatable blue parrot costume (unsure as to why), Norm is immediately into the fray with ‘Eat Sleep Rave Repeat’ and some bone crunchingly loud bass. There’s too much to mention really, the set is beyond incredible, and I say that as someone who has seen him perform multiple times. It’s not a ‘press play on the hits and let it ride’ sort of affair, he is mixing up every single bit of his work and live mashing it into other things – something totally unique and special. Zombie Nation gets a feature, as does his Nancy Sinatra cover ‘Bang Bang’ and in contradiction to CB’s ‘rules’ he is caught yelling “IT’S BESTIVAL BITCH” over the mic. Ok ok so he didn’t play more than a tiny clip of ‘Fucking In Heaven’ but it was funny.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

There are visuals, there are lasers, the crowd is going berserk… his Abba ‘Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie’ mix is absolutely epic and there’s a little nod to the Stranger Things crowd (there were a lot of Scoops Ahoy employees around site today) with the inclusion of Kate Bush’s ‘Running Up That Hill’. We also get some Underwold ‘Born Slippy’, the Ukrainian flag on the screens and then Greta Thurnburg’s soliloquy that very helpfully ends in her saying ‘Right Here, Right Now’ – which sends everyone into an absolute frenzy. It’s truly an immaculate set – we get a bit of absolutely everything. Finishing up with mixes of ‘Praise You’, ‘The Rockafella Skank’ with a bit of The Stones ‘Satisfaction’ and then The Ramones ‘Hi Ho Let’s Go’ – it’s a long one, but so so worth it. I find it truly fantastic that the daytimes here can be so kid oriented but the nights can feel exactly like my original hedonistic Bestival memories.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Sunday

On Sunday we head over to see the progress of the Woodland Tribe Big Build (an area full of bits of wood, hammers, and some very questionable DIY skills) but holy wow it’s amazing! There’s a huge Tower Bridge type construction which children are carefully hammering bits onto, even if the people in charge of making sure it’s safe do have the faintest look of concern on their faces at times, colour me impressed.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Everywhere tired parents are doing their last ditch efforts to drag festival trailers around the place (some are decorated to a very high standard, one is a full on pirate ship that blows bubbles from the mast) and almost everywhere you turn people have colourful braided hair or sequins all over them. It may have taken a few people a day or so to get into it, but I expect next year to feel even more like Bestival now that they’ve got the spirit of it.

We take a peek into The Grand Indian Art Bazaar, and unfortunately realise that we’ve missed the opportunity to sign up for things, BUT it really is amazing in there. You can watch cooking demos, have Mehndi done, dress up in beautiful clothes, have a go at wood block printing or even take a textiles class – as they have an entire sewing machine set up in there. There truly is something for everyone at this festival.

We take a quick squiz at the Above and Beyond arial performers doing some beautiful moves on hoops and straps, before heading to the main stage for a bit of afternoon movement with Mr Motivator, who looks and sounds quite literally the exact same as he did 30 years ago. The man is a machine, and as always is wearing one heck of a leotard.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Later on Rascal Raves are giving the soundtrack to Bollywood, before an Indian walking band stroll over to play us some more beautiful music around a tuktuk. Sentences you can only write at Camp Bestival for 100. Taking our final opportunities to sample the incredible festival food today, I opt for Bayou – Blackened cajun shrimp with a creole sauce on top of spicy fries, cheese sauce and slaw. I could eat this every day of my life I tell you. However it is spicy enough to warrant another strawberry smoothie so we head back up to The Feast Collective, only to find party curator and main man Rob Da Bank playing a DJ set in the corner. Smooth tunes and food in the sunshine – heaven.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

After this pitstop it’s back to the main stage for Elvana (Elvis fronted Nirvana), who jokes that he sometimes sounds like Nick Cage, sometimes like Matthew McConaughey, and hopefully with a little luck, a bit like Kurt Cobain. Elvis’ red caped outfit is extremely jazzy, he spends the entire time rocketing around the stage and jumping up and down, before getting into the crowd to see all his fans. It’s actually bloody brilliant music – not just a fun show. I’ll never get to see Nirvana or Elvis, so I’ll take it thanks.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

Over in the Big Top, Dom Joly is talking about how nothing good comes from France and that actually Belgium is the best, but refuses to go all Trigger Happy TV (which let’s face it, is what most people know him from). We take a trip to Caravanserai under a rapidly darkening sky, to hide in a quirky cubby before the rain sets in, and OH but it does. It’s a brief but heavy downpour and we end up singing nursery rhymes with a lovely family we appear to have squashed ourselves in alongside. Eventually the rain dies down and we ruffle our feathers to head off again, but not before catching a bit of Doghouse Derelicts in the Carousel, who are excellently funky.

Ned’s Atomic Dustbin in the Big Top pull a decent crowd, but the lion’s share of people appear to be in the Park field for Sister Bliss’ Faithless DJ set. Rocking a sparkly bomber jacket, she gives us exactly what we want in the form of classic Faithless sounds ‘We Come 1’ and ‘Insomnia’.

Out of nowhere we’re suddenly at the Sunday headliner – Rag’N’Bone Man, a definite change from the hyperactive club feel of the previous two nights. Making his way on stage wearing a Raiders jersey and a giant smile, Rory just looks so happy to be here. There’s no denying that he has an absolutely incredible voice but it is a bit of a culture shock after the big beats of Sister Bliss amping everyone up half an hour ago. Regardless the entire crowd is joining in on the likes of ‘Skin’ and ‘Human’ and his voice carries across the entire site. It’s pretty clear he’s got a lot of fans here, the site is absolutely packed with people, carts and kids still up dancing.

Ⓒ Anna Hyams for SFG

I wish we weren’t going home, I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface of what CB Shropshire has to offer – the sign of a great Bestival. Alas it ends, in the most incredible fireworks show over the Castle which is lit up in rainbow colours. See you next year CB – what a successful and ridiculously overwhelming debut. I need to lie down in a dark room for a few days now.

Roll up! Roll up! It’s the GIANT BESTIVAL REVIEW – 2018!

Roll up, roll up! It’s the most colourful show on earth! We’re back at Lulworth Castle for Bestival’s second year in it’s new location and it’s 15th Anniversary year, the UK is hotter than Mordor right now and we’ve packed enough glitter to ice an entire season of Drag Race.

THURSDAY

Ok, first things first. Getting in. After a miscommunication about certain carparks being full (they weren’t) and half our group being sent miles across site, we finally a few hours later manage to pitch up in Rainbow Rave camp. The first thing we notice after grabbing ourselves a lanyard (sans tote bag and programme, we really miss those!) and setting up the tents, is that there appears to be precisely ONE block of portaloos for the entirety of Rainbow camp. Seriously. It’s by far the largest campsite too. That is so not going to be fun in the morning…

Heading into the arena for a first look around, we also notice that there are absolutely no food vendors in Rainbow either… meaning we can say goodbye to a nice morning stroll for breakfast before getting ready to go out for the day. Unimpressed is an understatement – it was considerably better on both food and toilet fronts last year, two things that can really make or break your camping experience.

However, one new development which we wholeheartedly approve of, is the new “integrated site” layout (which is actually just a return to Bestival’s of old) whereby there’s no discernable divide between campsite and arena. This crucially means that there are no bottle-neck lengthy security queues and you can take your camping alcohol along with you – anywhere!

It’s also great to note that since last year’s unfortunate drug-related death at the event, Bestival has immediately stepped up their game. There are police officers and dogs on the campsite gates, as well as ‘The Loop’ – a drug testing service on site and lots of very noticeable ‘Chill Welfare’ helpers dotted around the place, as well as an Amnesty bin. Drugs are always going to make it into events, no matter what precautions are put in place, so it’s great to see Bestival addressing the problem from multiple angles.

Anyway as we walk through the site we immediately spot some differences from last years’ debut – The Temple is now nestled at the bottom of a giant hill halfway between camping and the main arena, it looks absolutely stunning and now offers a place to sit back and take it all in, if you don’t feel like getting in the middle of it. Previously it was at the top of a slope instead but we think this orientation is going to work out so much better, it looks like a beautiful secret club in the woods, with a hillside covered in fluttering silk flags. HMS Bestival has also moved to less of a thoroughfare spot, but it is still disappointingly tiny compared to it’s original iteration as ‘The Port’.

We also spy a frankly MASSIVE trapeze set up on the hill and a high-wire fenced off in the centre of ‘Cuckoo Clump’. This whole area has changed completely, it’s considerably more open and inviting than last year’s higgledy piggledy maze of vendors and spaces. We spy Stacey’s and House of Vans on our way past but we’re heading straight for the Castle and The Feast Collective for some top notch grub. As we head through the lawn we pop over to say hello to DJ BBQ, who is enjoying a beer whilst standing in his own paddling pool. So jealous right now. He reliably informs us that he’ll be slinging more meat on tomorrow, as well as giving us frequent air guitar shows on his own miniature stage.

Now I’ve raved about The Feast Collective every single year, the variety and quality are unparalleled at any other festival in the UK, but oh my gosh. It’s hotter than hell in the tent but we are all overwhelmed by the smells and sounds, the long picnic tables down the centre and pretty fairy lights. My first festival meal has to be Shrimpy’s – a tray of battered prawns, hand cut proper chips and a heap of samphire. It’s effing decadent festival dining let me tell you. Following it up we give the edible cocktails a try, Blue Lagoon is horrific, but Espresso Martini is a delight, even if you do feel like you’re joining the ill-advised tide pod craze.

After a quick look at the Castle field we head into the Old Mout Kiwi Camp for a singalong, it’s always karaoke time in there and the tent is rammed, so we settle ourselves into a massive hammock thing and add our drunken voices to an absolutely dire rendition of Fugees ‘Killing Me Softly’. After a few more songs and a couple of ciders we decide to check out Bollywood, where some guys unwisely decided to try and teach us (the perpetually uncoordinated) to ‘tut’. Needless to say we were poor, and left laughing.

Over in my personal favourite space at Bestival; Caravanserai, we are mesmerized by Cirque Bijou’s trapeze, silk and rope artists, spinning and dropping above us in sparkly outfits. The whole place is absolutely alive with wonder and awe – something I’ve come to really appreciate about Bestival. It’s not often that adults allow themselves to be utterly swept away in the moment and give in to childlike feelings of amazement, I think that’s what feels so special about it.

We also catch a little of The Roustabout Collection on the carousel stage, who are exactly as rowdy and fun as the name suggests, grab ourselves an Elderflower Gin Fizz from one of the little bars and have a sit down in one of the old waltzers. Everyone is chatting, laughing, dancing and sparkling here – I feel so at home. After filling up our souls in Caravanserai, we begin the walk back to our campsite and decide to go via The Temple which is truly even more beautiful at night, bathed in the pink light of the lasers. There’s a sea of sweaty, uninhibited bodies jumping to the rhythm of beat, it’s almost hypnotic. Half of me wants to rush in and join them but the other half of me has spotted another festival staple – Anna Mae’s Mac n Cheese. It wins out and soon we’re digging our way through mac whilst trekking up the big hill home.

FRIDAY

Oh dear lord it’s HOT. Wriggling into our first spangly outfits of the weekend (yes, we have brought theme-appropriate clothing for all three days) we head out as quickly as possible as we’re all starving. Breakfast is smashed avo on toast (basic bitch alert) followed by several average attempts at the Mitchum Ball Pool, in which you have to collect golden balls which spell out the brand name. Definitely aren’t going to be winners but they are pushing mini sample deodorant on us which we sincerely appreciate in this heat. Next door we grab ourselves free iced lattes from Nescafe Aezera and then truck up the hill to have a look at Gorilla Circus.

Little did we realise that you can just rock up and HAVE A GO. The trapeze is a giant hulking metal contraption that from the outside sort of resembles a bear trap, and is honestly no less terrifying. Some of my crew sign themselves up for a go and are pretty quickly let loose on skills like a leg-hold, back tuck and even a catch! It’s amazing and insane that this is just freely available to do at a festival, every time you think you know Bestival – they come up with something else absolutely shockingly brilliant to add to the lineup.

After the heights of the Trapeze and being out in the sun for hours, we traipse over to the Castle field for an icy slushie and some shade to watch Oh My God! It’s The Church. Having caught them last year in the Big Top, we knew they were not to be missed. The Reverend Birmingham Alabama in his gold suit is certifiably crackers, the band and vocalists are all incredible and we LOVE their rendition of Fatboy Slim’s ‘Praise You’. If we weren’t trying to fend off sunstroke, we’d have been front and centre, but we take a precautionary manoeuvre and head up through Ambientland (the forest) in search of Slow Motion.

Oh My God! It's The Church

After a quick toot on the mushroom sound pipes (not a drug reference, one of the forest’s art installations) we wind our way out into a grassy field with a tent where ‘Bubble Meditation’ is going on. Relaxing music, everyone lying down in a meditative state and um… small children walking around with bubble-guns. It’s odd to say the least but hey, whatever floats your… bubble I guess.

We take a look inside The Frozen Mole, but can’t spy any actual frozen moles in the ceiling, and then settle into some deck chairs in the shade of a small tree, as a peacock walks by and some other people are getting themselves a rejuvenating IV drip at the tent next to us. You really couldn’t make it up, everything is weird and wonderful here.

Over on the main stage Idles are going absolutely berserk, yelling “This is a song about how much I love immigrants” and wearing the Choose Love refugee tshirts. I’ll be honest, it’s not my sort of thing – but I do appreciate the cute little circle pit that has sprung up in front of the stage. At The Feast Collective we’re lured into the tent by a lady with fried jackfruit samples, which entice us to buy truly one of the best burgers we’ve ever eaten at a festival – and all vegan too.

Refueled we head back out to see our Bestival faves, The Cuban Brothers. If you’ve never experienced the CB’s, you really need to. They’re comedy kings, with a side of hip hop funk, crazy dance moves and fringed leotards. What’s not to love? Bursting on stage Miguel notes that the CB’s are “…the only band to play all 15 years at Bestival” and they indeed Bestival personified. Kenny (The Bastard) and Archerio bust out some duo disco moves “Together they are… Double Penetration!” and Miguel notes that Arch is “…sweating like a pregnant nun for you tonight” – as a mum on the front row quickly clamps her hands over her young son’s ears.

We’re treated to Kenny’s artistic Whitney Houston ‘I wanna dance with somebody’ rendition, warm up our hip circles with Miguel and marvel at Juan Erection’s flips and breaking during ‘Ante Up’. Oh and a slew of families quickly escape the arena when Miguel takes all his clothes off except some very tiny pants, and starts banging the mic with his penis. Standard.

As the sun begins to set on this incredible first full day at Bestival, people are flooding into the arena in a host of sparkly costumes and accessories with glitter and smiles plastered all over their faces. We’re scouting out our perfect dancing spot for tonight’s headliner – Silk City.

READ OUR FULL SILK CITY REVIEW HERE!

After an incredible Bestival debut full of hard-hitting mixes, neon and raucous dancing, we really should be partied out… but at Bestival, the night is never really over. We head from the arena to The Temple to catch a bit of Kiwi, and drink in the image of all the gorgeous wild and free souls under the stars of Lulworth, there’s nothing quite like it.

SATURDAY

After choking awake in our furnaces/tents we dress in appropriately Circus-themed outfits (ringmaster plus circus animals and props) and head into the arena for Kojey Radical, who is busting up the Castle stage in sparkly red converse, he deserves a much bigger crowd than there is down the front – but there are pools of people crammed into every available patch of shade, hiding from the heat. We grab ourselves a slushie and watch Rodrigo Pérez, aka The Human Cannonball blast himself 25 metres through the air onto a giant inflatable crash-mat. It’s exactly as mad as it sounds, even LoveBot looks concerned.

Stefflon Don is reportedly stuck in traffic and isn’t going to make it so we head off in search of energetic delights in the form of The World’s Biggest Bouncy Castle. It truly is humungous (taller than the Great Wall of China and roughly three times the size or the Berlin Wall, filled with 1143 cubic metres of air, in case you were wondering) and we are all giddy like five year olds hopped up on Birthday cake just looking at it. What we didn’t realise, as we gleefully ditched our shoes and socks is that it would be HOTTER THAN HADES on that thing, the rainbow canvas scorching our feet as we attempt to bounce ourselves right out of it. Great photos, loved it anyway – a must do Bestival experience.

Over in The Big Top, Black Honey are the perfect blend of indie rock and sparkle with vocalist Izzy Phillips owning the stage in a rainbow sequin dress, the band are great and really kindly come out after their set to hand out free EP’s and patches, even signing stuff and posing for selfies – they’ve definitely gained more than a few new fans on the back of this performance, a great pick from the Bestival team.

Up next are the funky and fun Superfood; we’d been pre-gaming with their stuff on the Bestival playlist and they certainly did not disappoint. We loved ‘Unstoppable’ and their eponymous song ‘Superfood’ has a very Radiohead-esque riff that we’re into but it’s you know… happier. We also have a quick catch up with the man Rob Da Bank himself, who just seems to be hopping around the site checking up on people and saying hello. Rob tells us that he hasn’t had a go on the trapeze himself yet and SFG accuse him of being a fraidy-cat.

Over on the main stage we are blown away by the stunningly talented First Aid Kit, playing in the blazing sunshine in coordinated zebra-print outfits. The Söderberg sisters’ vocals are unparalleled and they don’t hesitate to bring a political message along for the ride, yelling “…That was our protest punk song… for women… we’re really sick of being fucking afraid” and waxing lyrical about how rape crime is rife with victim blaming propaganda. The crowd roars in agreement as they gutsily shout “The blame and the shame always belong to the perpetrator, no more fucking excuses!”.

We couldn’t rave more about their Kate Bush ‘Running Up That Hill’ cover but our absolute favourite is the dark and brooding ‘Wolf Mother’ backed by cyclical wolf visuals on the big screen. The ambience is only slightly marred by the sight of two people wielding actual first-aid-kits attached to tent poles down the front; it did make us giggle. Finishing up with a crowd-wide crooning for Emmylou, their “little love song” and finally the outstanding ‘Silver Lining’ set against a galaxy backdrop as the sun begins to set gold over the whole arena. It is the perfect show.

We recharge with an insanely rich salted caramel brownie with ice-cream from The Green Brownie before bowling headlong into madness with the weird and wonderful, Grace Jones. Stalking on stage in a billowing black sheet and golden skull mask, she’s dramatically striking in appearance with vocals to match. We have to laugh when she disparages her trip to Bestival; “I had to take a helicopter… helicopter… but I wasn’t gonna miss it if I had to take some wings and fly myself…” and dons a metal feather mane whilst writhing on the floor of the stage. ‘My Jamaican Guy’ sees her casually whipping her extraordinarily beautiful pole-dancing man – who is covered in matching body paint, before she cracks out a massive pony-headdress and hops on the shoulders of a roadie to parade the pit area high-fiving fans on the front-line for ‘Pull Up to the Bumper’. The confetti cannon sprays the crowd with rainbow ticker tape as Jones comes back to the stage shouting “Who's camping out? My God… let’s go before they pull the plug on me” and we’re all going crazy for ‘Slave to the Rhythm’ and a good 15 minutes of solid hula-hooping whilst singing. The woman is a machine.

As Grace Jones exits the stage we all turn around to face Lulworth Castle and are met with an audio-visual anniversary spectacular played out on the castle itself – Bestival themes over the last 15 years, a bombardment of amazing fireworks and a lot of oohing and aahing. ‘Somewhere Beyond The Sea’ plays and the final message reads “Sail safe shipmates” – is this a clue to next year’s Bestival theme we wonder?

Strangely after this ‘firework finale’ which in previous years would mark the very end of the festival, we still have London Grammar to go on the main stage. It’s a bit of an emotional whiplash going from the party vibe of Grace Jones and the excitement of the fireworks into the soft, ambient vacuum of London Grammar, but they are stunningly beautiful.

READ OUR FULL LONDON GRAMMAR REVIEW HERE!

As the Castle stage closes, we head out for the nightclubs of Bestival and oh we are spoiled for choice – Stacey’s and House of Vans are jumping, Caravanserai looks like a glittering chandelier and HMS Bestival’s lights pierce the darkness. Carpe PM!

SUNDAY

Sunday morning at Bestival always feels slower. The toilet queue is visibly hungover and big sunglasses are a must. Luckily it’s marginally cooler today because in the harsh light of day it’s pretty clear a lot of little lobsters have been neglecting their sun-cream this weekend. We take a fortifying hike up to Slow Motion for a little life affirming Bollywood yoga and a wonky-veg slushie (which was a lot tastier than it looked, which is good because it looked like gators might live in it). Over on the Castle stage the soothing sounds of Songhoy Blues ring out over the site and bring us back to life, as we peep into The Frozen Mole where a tshirt design workshop is in full swing.

We tiptoe past aerial-yoga, where people appear to be fighting brightly coloured silks on A-frames in attempt to achieve inner peace, and head to the main arena for Gentleman’s Dub Club for a boogie – albeit a gentle one whilst we’re in recovery. Next up, with absolutely no remorse for our fragile states is the batshit crazy Dubioza Kolektiv, who appear to be dressed as crash-test dummies with boundless energy. Brandishing signs reading ‘make’, ‘some’ and ‘noise’ they yell “Find a person in the crowd to hug” and this being Bestival, that is exactly what happens – strangers hugging strangers, increasing the peace. We are in fits of laughter at their song ‘Free.mp3’ otherwise known as ‘The Pirate Bay Song’ with it’s repetitive message “Our music is for free, you can download mp3, keep it playing on repeat, if you hate it press delete” and their unashamed Pirate Bay flags – it’s going straight on our illegal playlists.

Hauling on stage a group of jump-ropers, they attempt to “teach the crowd some Bosnian lyrics” whilst skipping; “…jumping the rope is traditional Bosnian dance… we do this for 2 thousand years”. They’re mental, we love it.

Up next the arena is packed for Chaka Khan, who arrives on stage to backdrops of her signature, wearing a sparkly top also featuring her signature. You could say it’s a signature look… ha. Despite an initial kerfuffle with her mic being off, she launches into the good solid disco music we’ve all been waiting for, in the sunshine. It seems the sun-facing stage is a bit much for Chaka though as she gripes “How you doin… damn I hate this shit, I hate the sun in my face… I’m brown enough!”. The set is decent but in truth we’ve all been waiting for ‘I’m Every Woman’ which is exactly as fun as we’d hoped (there’s a man wearing fluffy fringing who looks like he’s been positively dipped in glitter, having the most fabulous time atop his friends’ shoulders) and ‘Ain’t Nobody’ is explosive with the addition of a confetti blast from the cannon. Magical.

Afterwards, the sad news about the passing of Barry Chuckle – a Bestival veteran, is screened on the main stage as sad “to me, to you” lines are spoken around the site, The Chuckle Brothers have been a big part of this festival for years, and indeed, most of our childhoods.

Plan B attacks the main stage with ‘Grateful’ wearing a curious outfit, half Peaky Blinders, half military tactical jacket, with a strange white chin-strap thing. It kind of looks like he’s sprained his beard. I don’t get it. As the tall tramway lights flicker, Drew asks “Can I get some vodka please?” and busts out fan favourite ‘Prayin’ and ‘She Said’ with the entire crowd singing along. It’s amazing how many people actually know the entire rap section actually. Calling out “Who’s drunk? No that’s not enough… who's drunk?” Plan B can’t hear this amusing response from the crowd; “You’re drunk! You put your highlighter on wrong son, blend honey!” but we’re all giggling as he heads into ‘Welcome to Hell’.

After all that dancing we’re desperate for nourishment and absolutely spoilt for choices still. Tonight it’s grilled steak and chips from The South West Food Collective, whose proceeds go to charity and who are collecting leftover food from Bestival vendors and campsite hubs tomorrow to be distributed to a local food bank. Not only that, the steak is crazy good, restaurant good. It’s things like this that Bestival draws in that really make the difference. The entire vibe of this festival is centered on its motto ‘Increase The Peace’ and rather than just say it, this is the festival that actually strives to model it.

Up next is the part artist, part activist, musically explosive M.I.A. smashing up The Castle Stage for the finale of Bestival 2018. She’s a force to be reckoned with, emerging from her temple doorway under yellow billowing curtains;

CHECK OUT OUR FULL M.I.A. REVIEW HERE!

After M.I.A. we scurry over to the Cuckoo Clump for the grand finale, which begins with an incredible violinist in a glowing dress, surrounded by neon lit umbrellas dancing in unison at her feet. Above a perilous high wire, sans any form of safety net or harness sways ominously in the light breeze. We are utterly amazed by the three tightrope walkers from Cirque Bijou, who proceed to walk, lie-down, headstand and even climb over each other, but then they just continue to up the ante. There’s a guy walking on the top wire – even higher than the original wire… then they set it on fire… then he rides a bike across… then a girl attached to a harness sails along it with a balloon and danger dances with the man who has no harness… It’s nail-biting stuff. The accompanying fireworks exploding from three different locations, lighting up the helter-skelter are the cherry on top of the most fantastic layer-cake of this finale. I’ve seen some mad incredible things in my time at Bestival but I really think this has been one of the most incredible. I don’t know of any other experience on this earth that is as chaotic, mysterious, bizarre and awe inspiring. With that, we are off to Caravanserai to hide out in a camper, drink cocktails and dance like we don’t have to go home tomorrow. Rudimental are DJ’ing The Temple soon, and there are at least a few more heady hours of glorious freedom to be had. See you next year Bestival, you have well and truly got your mojo back.

Images © Andy McHardy for Summer Festival Guide

Bestival 2018: M.I.A. – Reviewed!

It’s day three of Bestival, we’re all sunburnt, knackered and happy – but we’re back in the Castle Field eagerly awaiting London bad-gal rapper, artist, political activist and all round boss babe – M.I.A. The main stage is set with billowing yellow drapes reminiscent of a Disney princess dress and a neon archway which looks like you could descend to Moria through it. If you know, you know. The arena is packed out and everyone is looking forward to one last night of debauchery before having to head home to the real world.

Red shell-suited dancers attack the stage with a vengeance, and M.I.A. herself emerges from the temple doorway wearing an all-white ensemble apart from one very loud, tiger print um… chap? Half of chaps. Can I call it chap singular? Anyway, the energy is up, she’s wrapped in a floral headdress and already smashing through the likes of ‘Bamboo Banga’ and ‘Y.A.L.A.’. She is pure power in these first few songs, keeping up with her Tamil dance crew and winding in her shredded shorts, before jumping down to high five people in the crowd.

For all of Maya’s raw musical talent, the political activist in her is still very much present and integrated into her work, backdrop visuals of Syrian refugees accompany her swift lyrics while her DJ seems to vie for attention yelling out “M.I.A.” and “Bestival”. Returning to the stage after a brief pause, Maya is now rocking a massive shiny boxing style robe and we’re treated to a heavy hitting “Live Fast Die Young” which is honestly the highlight of the set – especially because it comes dance moves. Hey, it’s no Macarena but having been a child of the 90’s I know how to Miyagi wax-on-wax-off with the best of them.

Confusingly M.I.A. yells “Where the boys at?” hold on… equality always… I guess it’s time for the boys… maybe we should get some boys on stage…” and none appear to materialize. No-one cares though, both factions of her female dancer troupe are absolutely killing it. One funny/soul destroying moment, is Maya calling out “Hey Bestival, now we need your help… we want you to sing with us, are you ready for it” and asking for people to get their lights out. It’s a sea of phone torches instead of lighters these days, I’m nostalgic for the warm glow of real fire in this blanket of LED. I feel old.

Rolling into ‘Boyz’, Maya is back down the front throwing flower petals from a basket into the front row and standing up on the barrier holding hands with fans, a security guard holding onto the seat of her pants for safety. She calls out “Bestival if you’ve still got fucking energy let me hear you” before exclaiming that she only has 7 minutes left. Given the 15 minute late start, this makes for a pretty clipped set, but luckily she is allowed to go on a little longer. After handing the mic to a person in the crowd who decided to use the platform to wax lyrical about going out there and being an astronaut if you want to – bit weird… she finishes up with super-hit ‘Paper Planes’ and amusing bird-hand motions.

Just to cap off the political slant to the whole set, Maya exits the stage with a stinging jibe “The British government got some apologies to make around the world” and with that, the Castle stage is officially closed for 2018. I know M.I.A. isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but you can’t deny her fierce energy and I applaud her use of her platform to speak on issues she is passionate about. She’s everything Bestival stands for and pulled off a solid headline set.

Images © Andy McHardy for Summer Festival Guide

Bestival 2018: LONDON GRAMMAR – Reviewed!

After a stonking warm up of the always incredible (and insane) Grace Jones, and the most spectacular 15th Anniversary fireworks and AV show on Lulworth Castle, we’ve been expecting big things from London Grammar tonight. The sky is cloudless and cool, a welcome relief from the scorching days and the stage is set, well… incredibly minimally.

As the band take to the stage after an inordinately lengthy intro, visuals of the moon and stars set the scene, and lead vocalist Hannah Reid launches effortlessly into ‘Hey Now’. ‘Wasting My Young Years’ is beautiful, but honestly, it’s all a bit of a come-down after the raucousness of the previous acts. It feels a bit like giving a kid a lolly before bedtime and then expecting them to lie down for the lullaby – yes Bestival is eclectic and has always been known for having a bill with something for everyone, but the people are voting with their feet and the arena is already looking sparse as people seek rowdier pastures at HMS Bestival, Bollywood and The Temple.

As the band head into a cover of Kavinsky’s ‘Nightcall’ I can’t help but think that the original with it’s soft but strong beat would have gone down better, but ‘Rooting For You’ is undeniably stunning. I just so wish they’d been framed by a similar act, something to get us into the right mood for this. It’s clear they’ve got plenty of die-hard fans at the front, but there’s no denying that the turn-out is considerably thinner than for Grace Jones.

For an awkward pause of about ten minutes, someone decides to scale one of the trees in front of the stage… out of boredom or love – we’ll never know but it shuts down the proceedings while security attempt an extraction. Reid calls out “So we’re being told that there’s a guy in a tree… I don’t know which tree… but basically, we can’t carry on – we're gonna be shut down until he gets out of the tree. So I’m actually not allowed to start singing until he’s out of the tree.” Which comedically elicits a range of both boos and cheers, further supporting the divide tonight.

Finally the stunt is over and Reid quips “He’s out of the tree! He's naughty…” before resuming with ‘Strong’. Finishing up with ‘Big Picture’ before the one song encore of ‘Metal & Dust’ against a pink-rain of stars backdrop, it really is beautifully ambient. Calling out to the crowd one last time, Reid muses “Robbie had us for one of our first ever shows here, in a tent and it was one of the best gigs we've ever done. It’s crazy to think that was 6, 7 years ago. Thank you!”.

For me this was a tough one. Yes I think London Grammar are fantastic, but do I think they had that site-wide appeal a headliner should garner? Ultimately, no. Whilst it’s true everyone has different tastes, upbeat bands are always going to win when it comes to headliners, especially at Bestival where people are here to set themselves wild and free. Sorry London Grammar, you just didn’t grab me this time.

Images © Andy McHardy for Summer Festival Guide

Bestival 2018: SILK CITY – Reviewed!

Tonight, for a marvelous treat – Bestival are giving us the second ever live show of the brand spanking new Diplo and Mark Ronson collab; Silk City. As the castle field fills up and an NYC back-alley set design is rolled onto the stage, the sunburnt masses are gearing up for a night of big beats and laser filled dreams.

Debut hit ‘Only Can Get Better’ proves a banging opener, supported by a barrage of lights and Diplo’s yells of “Bestival are you ready? Let’s go!”. The stage set-up is something outside of the usual DJ realm and makes for a much more visual and interesting show than just two guys pressing buttons, as they work their way through remixes of current and old hits. Projected neon street signs blink on the grey walls and faux Silk City band posters are pasted in hypnotising repetition across the big screens. Hung from the centre of the stage is an enormous disco ball, spraying flecks of light across the jumping crowd – it’s honestly one of rowdiest Bestival crowds I’ve ever seen, whether that’s down to mass sunstroke, first day drinks, or a genuine love for the music, is yet to be determined.

Shouting “We made some remixes for you tonight, just for you Bestival, hope you like them” Silk City show off with a plethora of interesting and big mixes, there’s truly something for everyone in there. A little Tori Amos anyone? A little of Kelis’ ‘Milkshake’ does indeed bring all the boys to the yard (and yes, we Brits are still largely terrible at twerking) but it’s the Dua Lipa ‘New Rules’ remix that everyone goes absolutely berserk for.

With their embroidered Silk City denim jackets (where can I get one please?), Diplo and Ronson just flow seamlessly through hit after hit, shouting such classic DJ tropes as “We’re called Silk City, are you ready to party tonight?” and “Let’s go!”. Ok, so it is a bit cheesy but that’s kind of what we’re looking for – something we can get wild to.

A little bit of Route 94, someone spinning glow poi in the crowd and “This is the first night of Bestival 2018, thanks for partying with us tonight! This is only our second gig as Silk City!” has the duo firmly established as a Bestival success, and for a bit of personal joy as 30-something, I loved the inclusion of Wamdue Project’s ‘King of my Castle’. C’mon, what a jam, am I right?

A little bit of Diplo’s own ‘Be Right There’ flows surprisingly well into Missy Elliott’s ‘Work It’ and a remix of Major Lazer’s ‘Lean On’ gives us the feels from Bestivals’ past. Further into the surprisingly funky and retro set, we’re asking each other what we’re gonna do with all the junk in our trunks (again with the poor twerking situation) followed by my new favourite version of Amy Winhouse’s ‘Valerie’.

Closing out with a second round of ‘Only Can Get Better’, Diplo calls out “Thank you for taking a chance on us tonight Bestival… we know how important it is” as the giant confetti cannon covers the arena in flickering light.

Now I know this collaboration in its infancy, obviously doesn’t have a back-catalogue of their own hits to roll through, but they have wisely created a set-list that punches hard at the absolute core point of Bestival – fun. I think they did a cracking job of it, despite some protests that it was nothing more than a glorified school disco. I have but one gripe – why where they scheduled at the same time as Bicep?

Images © Andy McHardy for Summer Festival Guide

Bestival Soundsystems and New Music Announced

Bestival is proud to present a host of new names joining our multi-ringed circus of love. With heavyweight soundsystems, dancefloor stalwarts and must-see new acts, don’t miss four days of magical music and circus-themed trickery on over 20 stages and micro-venues in eight unique arenas, at the most colourful show on Earth, now in the heart of the summer, on the Lulworth Estate, Dorset.

Rob da Bank says: “Teaming up with mates and compadres who run record labels, parties or raves is what Bestival has always been about and this year wont disappoint as we bring over Marrakech’s Oasis gang, roll out the one and only David Rodigan, our first and only Resident For Life with his Ram Jam party, as well as some drum and bass mayhem from Goldie and Metalheadz and the Ram crew… turn up the control!”

We’ve teamed up with Marrakech festival and house music haven, Oasis, for an Oasis x Bestival soundclash with sets from Amelie Lens, Nastia, Butch, La Fleur, Benjamin Damage, Alex Niggeman back to back with Denis Horvat & Amine K. Rattling your ribs on a serious rig, we’re are honoured to welcome Ram Jam back to the dance with sets from incomparable reggae auteur Rodigan, plus original nuttah Shy FX, turntable conjurers The Nextmen &Venum Sound.  Legendary junglism comes courtesy of Metalheadz with sets from main man Goldie, plus double drop pioneer Randall, first lady of drum n bass DJ Storm and Ant TC1.

Expect super-rave behaviour from the Raindance crew with ultimate oldskool action from Rat Pack, Rachel Wallace, Liquid, Billy Daniel Bunter, Uncle Dugs, Nebula 2 and Nookie. And big system banging flavours come from the airwaves next generation Radar Radio with sets from Jossy Mitsu, Conducta, Kenny Allstar, Amy Becker, DJ Argue & Master Peace andMartha. Plus, we’ll have Shogun Audio Pres Alix Perez, Technimatic, Pola & Bryson, Glxy &SP:MC & Visionobi and Ram Records with Loadstar going B2B with DC Breaks and Mind Vortex.

And keeping it fresh and correct we’ll have live music and DJ sets from The Big Moon, The Heatwave, Justin Robertson, Purple Rave with Rob da Bank & Tayo, London Contemporary Voices: Guilty Pleasures, House of Pharaohs, Mt Wolf, Jethro Watson, Thomas Urv, Ellie Prohan, Tasha, Gilded Pleasures, Jim 8-Track, Eden Pardey, Cooking With Sherry, Ian & Rob and Roast Beatz.

Bestival Announce Friday Headliner – SILK CITY

The Bestival team are extremely excited to announce yet another exclusive for 2018! Diplo and Mark Ronson’s brand-new project Silk City is our exclusive Friday night headliner at this year’s midsummer show on the Lulworth Estate. 

Rob da Bank says: “We don’t like doing the same thing as other festivals here at Bestival HQ… so for our Friday night headliner we’ve booked something you’ll never have seen in Europe or probably the world. Two of the best party-starting DJs with a new stage show packed with surprises back to back… ladies and gents, boys and girls, please welcome Diplo and Mark Ronson aka Silk City to the stage! 

They’re long-time friends of Bestival, so we are ecstatic Diplo and Mark Ronson have chosen our 15th anniversary celebrations to make their European debut as Silk Citywith a UK festival exclusive set. And if there’s one thing you can guarantee, it’s that this pair know how to rock a party.  Two of music’s greatest names together on the Castle stage, with you, us and some big, big tunes, it’s already got legendary written all over it.

Destined to be monumental, do not miss your first ever chance to catch Silk City as they join fellow exclusive headliners London Grammar and Jorja Smith, plus MIA’s only confirmed UK headline festival appearance and an ever-eclectic line-up featuring Grace Jones, Plan B, Chaka Khan, First Aid Kit, Mura Masa, Rudimental (DJ Set), Hot Chip (DJ Set) and many, many more.

First acts for Bestival 2018 announced!

Behold the most audacious performers to ever have graced Bestival’s green fields. From UK festival exclusive headliners, soul divas and sonic heroes to the ‘must see’ acts of 2018, these are the sights and sounds that will define four days of mind-altering music and circus trickery on over 20 stages and micro-venues in eight unique arenas, at the most colourful show on Earth, now in the heart of the summer, on the Lulworth Estate, Dorset.

Rob da Bank says: “Here come the girls…and a few boys too! Yes, it’s Bestival 2018 and we’re here with the first wave of our all-singing all-dancing line-up. With UK festival exclusive headliners London Grammar and Jorja Smith to legends in the game Chaka Khan, Jimmy Cliff and Grace Jones, and always representing the new blood from Mura Masa and IAMDDB to Mabel and Idles, we’re covering all bases. As any Bestival veteran knows we don’t just do music, so come and check our Hot Yoga, Dubstep Dodgem rides, wood-fired hot tubs, AmbientLand craft tent, East 17’s Christmas Party!, and loads of circus-based trickery, including a Human Cannonball, high wire fire walking and a pretty buff strongman popping up on the Main Stage.”

Commenting on their exclusive headline set, London Grammar’s Dot Major said: “We are so excited to be coming back to Bestival this year! Our show there back in 2014 was one of our favourite shows we have done on home shores. I’ve been going along for years as it’s such a magical festival and this time we get to headline! ? can’t wait to see you all there.”

Bestival 2018 will see UK festival exclusive headline sets from London Grammar on Saturday night, Jorja Smith on Thursday in the Big Top, and a huge and very special Friday headliner still to announce, with M.I.A. closing the show before our fireworks finale on Sunday evening.

There’s no shortage of heroes, legends and bona fide superstars full of circus-themed swagger with standout sets from Grace Jones, Plan B, Chaka Khan and First Aid Kitplus Mura Masa, Sundara Karma, Thundercat, Jimmy Cliff, David Rodigan & The Outlook Orchestra and Stefflon Don among many others confirmed to appear on the Castle Stage.  And our gargantuan and all-embracing Big Top line-up features Django Django, IAMDDB, Kelela, Mike Skinner & Murkage present Tonga and many, many more.

DJ sets and outlandish PAs include, in alphabetical order, 2Bears, Amelie Lens, Bez’s Acid House, Bicep (DJ Set), Billy Daniel Bunter & Raindance, Chali 2na & Krafty Kuts, Craig Charles, Denis Sulta, East 17’s Christmas Party, Faithless (DJ set), Gilles Peterson, Goldie presents Metalheadz, Honey Dijon, Hot Chip Mega Mix (DJ set), Jaguar Skills, Norman Jay, Ram Records, Rodigan presents Ram Jam, Rudimental (DJ Set), Sink the Pink, So Solid Crew a Vic Reeves reggae set and Wookie & Matt Jam Lamont, with many more selectors signed up to our unholy order of rhythm.

And there are psychedelic sideshows and extraordinary attractions to satisfy the soul in eye-popping venues including Temple, Bollywood, HMS Bestival (AKA The Port),Stacey’s, AmbientLand, Caravanserai, Club Dada and a magnificent charm of stages and immersive micro-venues scattered across our boutique campsite wonderland.

As ever Bestival goes far beyond the music, and this year’s circus-themed arcadia is no exception featuring an array of tableau and temptation with Fat Gay Vegan, Feast Collective, Free Haircuts, Slam Poetry Yurt, Gong Healing, 5k Campsite Run, Dubstep Dodgems, Black Light Forest Party, Yoga Nidra With Rob da Bank, Human Ball Pit, Musical Vegetable Orchestra, Wood Fired Hot Tubs, the WI, the World’s Largest Confetti Cannon & Disco Ball, Fireworks, Witness The Fitness Tent, Lit Tent, Loop Sessions, the Love Bot, Rainbow Astronauts and much more. See below for the full line up so far.

Bestival 2018 Line-Up So Far:

Castle Stage: London Grammar / M.I.A. / Grace Jones / Plan B / Chaka Khan / Special Guest / Mura Masa / Sundara Karma / Thundercat / Jimmy Cliff / David Rodigan & The Outlook Orchestra / Stefflon Don / Kojey Radical / Dubioza Kolektiv / Gentleman’s Dub Club / Songhoy Blues / The Cuban Brothers / IDLES / This Is the Kit / Chaka Demus & Pliers / OMG! It’s the Church / L.A. Salami / Son of Dave

Big Top: Jorja Smith / Django Django / IAMDDB / Kelela / Mike Skinner & Murkage pres. Tonga: Holy Goof, Donea’o & Jaykae /  Mabel / Not3s / Kojo Funds / Charlotte de Witte / Agoria (Live) / Ghetts / Mr Jukes / Casisdead / Lotto Boyzz / Sink the Pink / Phil Taggart pres. Slacker: Ratboy, Shame, Superfood, Black Honey, Confidence Man, Touts & whenyoung / We Are Scientists / Nilüfer Yanya / House Gospel Choir – Frankie Knuckles Special / Hak Baker /Adrian Sherwood / Caravãna Sun / Grace Carter / Mellah / The Correspondents / Kitty, Daisy & Lewis/ Blossom Caladron / Beans on Toast / Dutty Moonshine Band / Digital Love: A Tribute to Daft Punk / London Astrobeat Orchestra Perform Talking Heads / Elvana: Elvis Fronted Nirvana / Park Hotel

Temple: Rudimental (DJ Set) / Bicep (DJ Set) / Amelie Lens / Solardo / Denis Sulta / Mall Grab / Honey Dijon / Artwork / Camelphat / Flava D / Palms Trax / Objekt / Nastia / Eli & Fur / Alex Niggemann / Benjamin Damage / Amine K / Mella Dee / Moxie / Darkzy / FineArt / HAAi / Jamz Supernova / Goldierocks / Tasty Lopez / Bradley Gunn Raver

Bollywood: Goldie pres. Metalheadz / Rodigan pres. Ram Jam / Ram Records: Loadstar B2B DC Breaks B2B Mind Vortex / 2Bears / Billy Daniel Bunter & Raindance / Rob da Bank / Radar Radio / FooR / Happy Meals / Nathan Dawe / Biig Piig

HMS Bestival (AKA The Port): Faithless (DJ set) / East 17’s Christmas Party / Jaguar Skills / Chali 2na & Krafty Kuts / So Solid Crew, Wookie & Matt Jam Lamont, Shogun Audio pres. Alix Perez, Technimatic, Pola & Bryson, Glxy & SP:MC & Visionobi / Bez’s Acid House / Stanton Warriors / Big Freedia / DJ Brace / Jodie Harsh & Friends / Kiddy Smile / Savage / Schlachthofbronx / Buttmitzvah / Hard Cock Life

Stacey’s: Gilles Peterson / Hot Chip Mega Mix (DJ set) / Norman Jay / Craig Charles / Donna Leake / Andy Blake / Reach Up – Disco Wonderland / JazzHeadChronic pres. The South London Soul Train / Shaka Loves You / Amy Alsop / Perry Kaye

AmbientLand: Chris Coco / Jane Fitz / Mix Master Morris / Flying White Dots / Flying Mojito Bros

Caravanserai: Temple Funk Collective / Urban Voodoo Machine pres. The Gypsy Hotel / Buffos Wake / Chainska Brassika / Ska V Goldsmith / My Baby / John Fairhurst / Junior Jungle / DJ Chris Tofu / DJ Penny Metal / DJ Ecklectic Mick / New York Brass Band

Club Dada: Vic Reeves (Reggae set) / Reggae Roast ft. Natty Campbell / DJ Shepdog (Nice Up!)

Ezra Collective / Jazz Re:freshed / Henge / King Lagoon’s Flying Swordfish Dance Band / Tokyo Sex Wail / Captain Cumbia / Wara / Immigrant Swing / Movimientos / DJ Chris Tofu / Thrill Collins

White Mink Electro Swing Club / Choreograff: ft. Tension Breakers v. Swing Patrol with New York Brass Band, Natasha Khamjani & more. Pus Many More Stages & Micro-Venues Across the Lulworth Estate.

Common People Southampton 2017 – Reviewed!

Common People might be the littlest sister of UK behemoth Bestival, but it certainly packs it’s own unique punch. Held on Southampton Common (with a twin over in Oxford now too) it’s a two day hedonistic escape without the sleeping-on-a-rollmat or not-showering-for-four-days element, and as such, is an altogether pleasant affair.

Saturday sees the likes of Elvana (Elvis fronted Nirvana) doing, well… exactly what it says on the tin I suppose, and Loyle Carner whipping a tshirt around the stage and rapping hits from his debut album, to a sun-drenched and almost feverish front row made almost exclusively of ladies. Over on the Uncommon stage, local lads Fever are whipping up a storm with their classic punky rock vibes to a packed tent.

The arena itself is decorated with a well-known Josie Da Bank feel to it, silk flags flutter in the breeze and there are fairy lights, lanterns and rainbow streamers everywhere, but it’s the heart installation which simply reads ‘Manchester’ which stands out the most. After such a terrible event, it’s affirming to know that people will still make their way to a festival like this, but the increased police presence was very noticeable.

Despite the somewhat sobering feeling of walking past armed police to enter the festival, the atmosphere is free spirited and fun. The Kids area is packed with people attempting circus skills, hula hooping, bubble blowing and getting their faces painted. Hidden away in a magical little copse, it really does have that hazy secret summer feel to it, and the Jam Jar Bar is serving up delicious treats for the bigger kids. Did someone say Rhubarb Martini?

Over in The People’s Front Room, which is dressed up as a shabby-chic front room in case you were wondering… people are grooving along to funky sounds, but it’s pretty tightly packed so we’re off to check out the food options, which never disappoint at CP. Back in the dark old days of UK festivals your best hope was paying over the odds for some soggy chips and a distinctly grey looking burger, but at Common People your culinary compass can spin all around the world. From Paella to Macaroni Cheese, to thali boxes or soft shell crab burgers, there is nothing common about this menu. We can particularly recommend the brie, pear and walnut from The Gourmet Grilled Cheese Co. which was pretty flippin decadent.

Back at the main stage there are rows upon rows of screaming, glitter-bedazzled girls greeting a very dapper looking Tom Odell who is playing a roaring set from behind his giant centre-stage piano. Calling out “Southampton! Closest I’ll get to a home gig this season, back home, back in the badlands” Tom is returned with a chorus of “Marry me Tom!” from a group of young ladies who look like they might faint at any moment. One particular hardcore Odell fan has actually travelled with her father and sister from Brazil to see him here, now that is commitment!

Next up is Sister Bliss playing a Faithless DJ set in the deep evening sunshine which naturally has everyone up and dancing. ‘We Come 1’ is so heavy it rattles the panels of the helter skelter and Bliss looks right at home here in her sequinned bomber jacket.

Over to Pete Tong and The Heritage Orchestra to bang out some Ibiza classics and honestly, it is overwhelmingly amazing. Conductor Jules Buckley stands, arms spread wide in front of three tiers of orchestra and Pete Tong perched amongst the rafters at an LED lit mixing desk and they begin. It’s a strange sensation knowing these classics to be, to put it bluntly, somewhat simple musically speaking – but hearing them performed by the orchestra just brings them to a whole new level. Massive hits such as Fatboy Slim’s ‘Right Here, Right Now’ and Faithless’ ‘We Come 1’ get the full orchestral treatment but bathed in lasers and smoke. It’s strangely satisfying and retains the intensity of the original tracks. Pete also pays tribute to Manchester noting that it’s ‘on our minds’ before introducing Ella Eyre to sing ‘Good Life’ and Rudimental’s ‘Waiting All Night’ which are insanely good. Finishing up with Becky Hill on ‘You Got The Love’ has the whole crowd singing along and Pete Tong quips “We can’t pretend to go off and come back on again, there are too many of us!” as they close the show. With a mass surge out of the gates and into the town, day one of Common People is over and it’s been a blinder.


Sunday on Southampton Common seems a lot quieter, there are a smattering of people milling around for the first bands but it’s pretty sparse, at a guess some people went very hard last night and are nursing some pretty epic hangovers today.

The Novatones who come out strong and belt around the stage with their classic punk rock sound and jumping antics, it’s a great set and a shame so few people were out to see it. The Black Kat Boppers make short work of getting everyone who has made it in, up and dancing some sort of hybrid swing-come-dad-moves.

to being ‘stuck in traffic’ Nadia Rose appears to have all but missed her slot and Calum Lintott, who has just finished a set on the Uncommon Stage is hauled in to fill the time. He looks nervous as hell at first, forgets to plug in his guitar… “That’s a good start isn’t it! I did not expect to be doing this today” and waves awkwardly at his family out in the arena, but he pulls off a frankly fantastic second set anyway. Even the security guards are clapping along by the end and Calum seems pretty stoked about getting to play the main stage, ‘English Daisy’ and ‘Baby I’m Insane’ are going straight on the playlist.

Whilst Signals are mid set-up and sound check, Nadia Rose finally makes it to the main stage – albeit shoe-horned into the side with the DJ booth, accompanied by a large posse. Rocking a red bomber, with matching trainers and visible pants, as well as her signature space bun hairstyle – she is every bit the rapper celebrity the young front row have come to see. Busting out ‘Skwod’ and ‘Boom’ she has boundless energy and is absolutely fierce in her delivery, but it was maybe a little unnecessary of her to complain that “I’ve got a short set today, because I was put on late, but whatever” when it doesn’t seem like anyone was really at fault for that.

A brief but substantial downpour sees herds of people diving into bars and tents for shelter, which Amy MacDonald finds highly amusing “It seems a lot of people are scared of a little bit of rain… that’s a drizzle in Glasgow… southern softies eh?”. Standing in front of a broadway-esque red ruched curtain, the Scottish musician plays a storming set highlighted by recent hit ‘This is the Life’ but the rowdy contingent of Common People are squished side by side into the rainbow-ribboned Uncontained Stage area for Fat Man Scoop. Stalwart of the school disco, Fatman Scoop is of course playing an absolute cheese-fest of hits. Rocking lounge shorts and pool slides he leaves the decks to dance with three stunned kids who’ve been pulled from the crowd for DMX’s ‘Party Up’ but decides to get them to cover their eyes for his brief bout of topless shimmying. Good call Scoop, good call. ‘Be Faithful’ is exactly as obnoxiously loud and fun as you’d imagine, and with the appearance of Goldie, it’s just what we needed to get out of the grim weather funk.

Over on the main stage the House Gospel Choir are giving huge club hits in their distinctive style, notably a cover of Robin S’ ‘Show Me Love’, to a massive crowd. Up next British Sea Power aren’t garnering the same sort of response due to their softer, melodic sounds, but the front few rows seem to be die-hard fans who are absolutely loving them and their strange selection of stage-foliage.

Natives are shredding the Uncommon Stage with loads of people dancing and jumping around in the tent, and the bouncy castle has been dried and re-opened to hordes of terrifyingly fearless children. With a single experimental bounce and what thankfully was a minor collision with a manically grinning cannonball of a small girl, it’s time to escape to safety. Off to a less violent affair, lashings of glitter makeup from Dust & Dance and obligatory hair braiding, before heading over to see Wild Beasts. Flanked by flashing panel lights and a giant backdrop from their latest album ‘Boy King’ they have a distinct electronic rock sound that is definitely piquing some interest in the now quieter arena. I think they’re going to be the hot playlist add following the weekend, but I’m not sure they’re quite what everyone was waiting for.

Groove Armada pick it back up with a solid set of classic dance music, and I know it’s specifically listed as a DJ set but they really are holed up at the back of the stage behind a giant table. Why can’t DJ’s be at the forefront and engage with the crowd in any way other than that wistful sort of pointing into the sky reminiscent of Steve Zissou? Anyway… as they continue through the set the crowd builds and gets increasingly rowdy, during a remix of Breach’s ‘Let’s Jack’ security are rushed into the main stage pit to hold the barriers as people push against them whilst dancing.

After a couple of choice cocktails at The Day of the Dead Bar it’s down to Sean Paul to close out Common People 2017. Swaggering onstage in a dusty trenchcoat and a pair of sunglasses, Sean Paul looks every bit the nonchalant celebrity, but as ‘Get Busy’ begins it’s clear he is here to move and shake that thing as much as the crowd is. Flanked by two extremely energetic dancers, Sean Paul makes his way through a plethora of his classic hits such as ‘Baby Boy’, but it’s his version of Sia’s ‘Cheap Thrills’ that we are both wincing at, and simultaneously loving. It also then mixes into Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape of You’ and honestly It’s hard to assign one feeling to something like that. To explain, he changes the words… a lot. Enough to have no idea what’s going on except for the tune.

Calling out “We’re bringing you music from around the world tonight… we’ve got music from Jamaica, we’ve been to Australia with Sia… the UK with Ed Sheeran… who wants to go to Trinidad and Tobago with me?” we can’t help but think he’s playing the metaphor because his driver (easily spotted by being the only one at the back of the crowd sporting a full suit and tie) is looking horrified at the idea of driving anywhere other than home after this.

The crowd is getting considerably louder and wilder as the show goes on, and during ‘Temperature’ two girls are hauled over the barrier by security for having a scrap over which one can get closer to Sean Paul. It’s 50-50 on the funny/baffling ratio. Ending with a chant of “Say no no no, we ain’t going home” is fun until it’s actually time to go home and return to the real world, but at least there’s a bank holiday tomorrow to recover. Oh Common People you have once again been superb, with your eclectic mix of music, beautiful décor and incredible extra-entertainment options you are really anything but common, and you know it. Roll on 2017, and if you can’t wait that long for your fix, there’s always the larger scale Camp Bestival and Bestival to continue those CP feels.