Bloodstock Open Air 2023 – REVIEWED!

FRIDAY

For those of us who can’t get the extra day off work, Festivals are still a three day affair unfortunately, so I’m starting my Bloodstock Open Air 2023 journey here on Friday morning. Surprisingly sunny and warm despite one of the worst summers on record, we are grateful on two fronts – no need for the heavy duty rain gear we would have needed two weeks ago, and that the grass is visibly still green unlike the scorched Sahara situation of last year.

It is nice to note however, that Bloodstock seem to have upped their game a little after the 2022 hellscape, and there are a few more canopy structures around site to offer sun/rain relief. New too is the very cool Jewellery collaboration between Black Feather Designs and BOA, being a stalwart OG Bloodstocker – I was tempted into getting a signet ring, and they are beautifully made. Otherwise, Bloodstock remains largely unchanged and for that I am thankful – it is one of the easiest to navigate sites of all UK festivals and means I’ve got the best chance at seeing heaps of excellent bands this weekend.

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Starting up with Hate on the main stage, who are uncompromisingly heavy and daubed in corpse paint (my first bingo tick of the weekend), followed by Gatecreeper who seem to have swapped set times. Gatecreeper fulfil my hair-windmilling requirement for the festival on day one, opening with the aptly named ‘Sweltering Madness’, play some good solid heavy metal and get an extremely rowdy circle pit going.

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On the Sophie stage, Zetra sound like the band from your 90’s Buffy dreams. Gloomy, emo and deliciously ethereal – if you want to write poems in a graveyard, this is your soundtrack. By your soundtrack, I mean mine. Off to buy some black lace and a scrying gemstone.

Back on the main stage Sacred Reich have worked out whatever the hitch was that meant they had to switch slots with Gatecreeper, and they joke “This sun isnt typical here… I think its cause you’ve got two Arizona bands on today, so you’re welcome” before thanking Gatecreeper for the swap. It’s a great set from them so I’m glad the powers that be managed to work it all out.

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Wild Heat are rocking out in the Jägermeister tent, it sounds like the 80’s and I’m entirely here for it. Looks like everyone else is too because that tent is absolutely overflowing with people cheering them on, and I reckon they could more than handle a bigger stage next time. Fit For An Autopsy also get my stamp of approval, their sound is built from so many different sources and angles it’s a truly unique experience across their set, yes it’s heavy but the underlying melodies are the hook that reels you in. Calling “This is a bucket-list festival for us, we are so glad to be here! We need more crowd surfers, get up there!” they are visibly gaining new fans today.

Fury on the Sophie Stage are absolutely throwing down, it’s classic 80’s metal and I LOVE IT. Twin vocals from Julian Jenkins and Nyah Ifill are the soaring sound of the epic 80’s movie montage – think Karate Kid and Rocky. I know that sounds like I’m placing them in the category of cheesy, but trust me when I say I’m putting them up there with the greats. If you like hair metal, Fury are one hundred percent for you. If you don’t like hair metal, you’re wrong. ‘Hell of a Night’ has a very singable “Monster movies” refrain which has already become an earworm and is therefore entering my playlist immediately.

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Over on the main stage, Heaven Shall Burn are already enjoying themselves “It’s our first time at a festival in the UK, this is pretty special for us”, their stage filled with huge lighting panels and a lot of face-melting pyro. After a two year hiatus from live music before this summer, they’ve come out swinging, heavy and fast enough to entice a whole raft of crowd surfers across the barrier – including someone in a completely pink suit and tophat, very dapper.

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Less production fanfare for the iconic In Flames, but no compromise on power whatsoever. The Gothenburg heavyweights are as raw and brutal as ever, backed up by their intensely interwoven melodies that form their unique sound. I couldn’t rave enough about this band if I tried, after thirteen albums their catalogue speaks for itself, but live – they just have that certain something that draws you in. ‘Leeches’ and ‘Behind Space’ back to back show just how varied this setlist is today, we’re getting the full tour and I’m extremely appreciative.

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Shouting “Do you wanna join our band? Get him up here, no wait, he’s got superhero clothes on he can fucking fly up” Anders brings a fan dressed as a pirate up to join them on stage. “Finally we got a rock star up here!” he jokes, before handing him a mic. “Open a big circle pit for this one, pirate guy, are you ready?”. We love a bit of silliness here for sure, but we love a bit of ‘Take This Life’ more, and wow what a set that was. The last time In Flames played BOA was 2007, it’s been a long fucking time coming, In Flames we trust.

We take a little time to peruse the food offerings before the headliner, and settle on some slow cooked brisket from the most magnificent BBQ van, whose siren blares when the meats are ready. I would now like to be informed of dinnertime this way every day. 10/10 deliciousness, even if the chipotle sauce is still burning.

Closing out the main stage for the night, Killswitch Engage are a strong choice for BOA headliner. It’s an absolutely massive crowd spanning the arena and they come in heavy and melodic with ‘My Curse’ and ‘Rise Inside’. Guitarist Adam Dutkiewicz is rocking cocktail print boardshorts and a cut off Hawaiian shirt whilst bouncing around the stage with utter uncontained glee, as they head into ‘The Signal Fire’“This song is about unity and love, and that’s everything this festival stands for”.

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“I think it’s important to say this to all you people who were picked on. The freaks, the geeks, the weirdos. You are not alone, we are all here for each other” is a lovely supportive sentiment for a big ole metal band to espouse for sure, but becomes slightly ridiculous when followed up with “…what are you pussies doing there in the middle? I thought this was a metal show? Get a circle pit going!”. Nevertheless the band is rewarded with just that, if there’s one thing Bloodstock fans do brilliantly – it’s getting themselves nice and chaotic when asked. Closing with ‘My Last Seranade’ and a fitting tribute to the Ronnie James Dio stage – a cover of ‘Holy Diver’ is the perfect ending to an epic headline set.

SATURDAY

Starting out on Saturday with doomy Urne, who have gathered a decent crowd. It’s not my jam to be honest but there are plenty of approving fans headbanging along this morning.

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Up next is possibly the stand-out performance of the weekend, surprisingly… Royal Republic. A strange pick for Bloodstock, and one that I expected to annoy more true heavy metal fans. What I actually saw, was one of the biggest daytime crowds of the whole weekend, everyone dancing, everyone having a great time and everyone letting the pretence of coolness down for 40 minutes. Royal Republic are Swedish clean-cut rock and roll, dressed like T-Birds in tight denim and leather jackets, they bandy about the stage like they’re trying to embody the spirit of Elvis. There’s a keytar, a moment where drummer Per Andreasson fully stands up on top of his kit, and heaps of crowd interaction, what’s not to love?

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Yelling “These are my hands, I have two… the maximum amount. They would like to meet your hands… clap!” its clear enigmatic frontman Adam Grahn is here for a fun time. “We love metal, and we could have been a metal band… but we also love money” they joke, before giving us a quick and VERY convincing rendition of Metallica’s ‘Battery’. Finishing up with ‘Baby’ which is immediately my new summer road-trip jam, they have solidified their place in BOA history as a surprise hit amongst all the doom.

Employed To Serve get the unfortunate slot of a proper downpour, but manage to throw down some brutality after it clears. Vocalist Justine Jones absolutely crushes the low death metal growls, and they’ve got a very respectable crowd in front of them. Bloodstock veterans Crowbar are back once again with their excellently heavy riffs, and a joke or two about the weather “We’ve had a lot of wind, a lot of rain… it’s fucking England” to a massive crowd of fans.

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Knocked Loose promote as much chaos as their name suggests, and we see the biggest circle pit of the weekend so far, as vocalist Bryan Garris goes absolutely berserk on stage himself.

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Over on the Sophie stage another new one for me is Dakesis, despite the fact that they’ve been at Bloodstock a few times before, I seem to have missed them. Frontwoman Gemma Lawler is an absolute powerhouse vocalist and the band’s prog/symphonic metal is right up my street. Their show is dynamic and exciting to watch, the melodies are on point, and I’d truly be happy to see them hit a main stage slot sometime.

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On the opposite side of the style coin, Abbath (fronted by former Immortal guitarist, Abbath Doom Occulta… what a handle) are bringing us another dose of corpse-paint and creepy tongue waggling. There’s an awful lot of people in the crowd sporting corpse paint today in support, even a few of the photographers were spotted getting gloomified, and the set is worth the hype.

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Walking into the Sophie tent ahead of Gutalax, with no prior knowledge of the band… is nothing short of a fever-dream. Yes yes, I should have realised with the band name, but I wasn’t prepared for what I saw at all. Fans waving toilet brushes (imagine explaining those to security on your way into the campsites) and inflatable excrement flying around the tent, whilst they sing songs about… well, shit, is actually quite fun. I too would like to make it this far in life doing something incomprehensibly weird, I think I’m doing life wrong.

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Triptykon performing Celtic Frost is quite special in and of itself, so I don’t know why it isn’t hitting the button for me today. It’s technically brilliant but I guess I’m missing the little things that engage and endear me to live music, it feels a bit like they’re going through the motions I suppose.

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On the other hand, the incredibly silly but rather excellent TrollfesT are bringing me all the chaotic joy I have been craving. Sorry purists, but I am going to fucking LOVE a band dressed as resplendent sparkly flamingos and I won’t be taking any questions at this time. Looks like I’m not alone in this sentiment, as there are flippin’ heaps of inflatable flamingos in the crowd, and many people sporting flamingo paraphernalia, and surfing their way to the front of a full tent. Joking about how they entered Eurovision but didn’t get through, frankly enrages me. I would absolutely have voted a million times for the band who play folk metal and dance around the stage, but even more so for the band who call themselves “agents of chaos” and cover Britney Spears‘Toxic’. Come on, even the most seasoned metalhead absolutely must find this sort of thing amusing.

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Last up for me on Saturday are Meshuggah. I’m trying not to let my opinion be too obviously jaded by the fact that their lighting for taking photos was the absolute worst… but, after playing their first three songs almost entirely in darkness from the back of the stage, I can’t imagine it was that exciting for anyone else either. Yes it’s heavy, yes it’s gut-twistingly brutal, but they’re known for their saga-length songs that I just don’t always think translate well to headline sets, and there’s no movement or interaction. On the other hand, it’s a bloody enormous crowd and I know they’re on point musically – for the fans, this would be a great night. For everyone else, I’m not sure it hits.

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SUNDAY

Sunday has us checking out some of the other offerings around the arena, there’s always a small but great collection of shops at Bloodstock, with everything from patches for your battle vest, to frog hats and ornate drinking horns. If I am permitted one small gripe this year, it is that the queues for the merch stand on Friday were atrociously long, and it’s placement along the back of the arena meant that it made the walkway a bit difficult to pass at times to get to the New Blood stage. It would be nice to see a second merch stall over in the food court area somewhere, as I believe there had been in years past. I was also super disappointed to find that the S’Tan plushies had sold out on Thursday, so please BOA – order some more in time for Christmas ok?

Checking out All Hail The Yeti on the main stage for some good solid heavy metal, I did find myself giggling at the Stranger Things experience I was getting with the intro to ‘Highway Crosses’. Tribulation are today’s dose of corpse-paint, and in a very cute move they even have little incense sticks stuck into their PA speakers at the front, adorable. Guitarist Joseph Tholl is incredibly talented, and their soaring gothic melodies are truly delicious to the ears.

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Polish death-metallers Decapitated bring the fun and heaps of crowd surfers, with vocalist Rafał Piotrowski whipping his Rapunzel-ian dreadlocks around the stage. It’s a very large and hyped up crowd despite it being Sunday, this is one of the funnest sets of the weekend by far.

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Dead Air (who suffer a typo on the app and were very sweetly presented instead as Dear Air, narf) are playing their bouncy rock and roll in the Jägermeister tent, jumping around in the very limited space and giving the frankly massive crowd a fucking fantastic set. I’d like to see them back!

Ugly kid Joe are bringing the nostalgia, with their funny take on other bands’ logos (note the Motorhead style drum skins, the Britney Spears/Sabbath tshirt, Slayer backdrop etc…) and they’re just damn good fun, even their Ace of Spades cover was decent.

Over in the Sophie tent, I once again feel I’ve stepped into an alternate reality for Church of The Cosmic Skull. Opening with the truly epic ‘Mountain Heart’ I am immediately captured by their sound, 70’s organ and strings with that Pink Floyd/Animals ring to it. The band themselves are a visual force to be reckoned with as well, all dressed in bright white of varying styles, and all white instruments (apart from the rainbow axe sported by frontman and founder Bill Fisher) they look like the kind of cult I would absolutely fall for. It is prog, for sure, but not the self-serving hours of widdling-around and paying no mind to listenability kind. They have a very singable quality which had me playing their spotify channel all the way home. Call me a convert, they were truly one of the stand out bands of the weekend.

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Now for maybe the most exciting set of the weekend, and who could be remotely surprised – it’s Sepultura. If you don’t get hyped up to jump around to this band, your heart might not be installed correctly, because it is impossible not to be drawn in when Derrick Green asks you to jump with him. “Bloodstock! Let’s get it GOING!” he yells, as the crowd surfers rain down on the security guards at the front. “This goes out to all the bands at the festival, and all you motherfuckers out there” is the signal call for everyone to go wild for ‘Refuse/Resist’ and closer ‘Roots Bloody Roots’ just seals their position as one of the best bands I’ve ever seen at BOA… again.

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KK’s Priest stepping up in place of Helloween after their cancellation, means a crowd full of slightly disappointed people wearing their pumpkin outfits in mourning, which is a little funny. Yes, joke along that this is Judas Karaoke if you will, but honestly – it’s good. Solid heavy metal, a lot of running around and fun stuff, can’t complain for a last minute addition. I would have been one of the people who would have liked for Skindred to fill the slot on the back of their hit album, but the forums are full of people who were Skindred-ed out and I do get why.

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I was however, absolutely blown-away by Zeal & Ardor and do feel they could have been an incredible pick for that main stage slot too, despite their relative new-ness. The rammed tent supports my theory, overflowing with equally awestruck people for their bluesy country flavoured metal. It’s hard to categorise them to be honest, and I think that’s some of the draw – finding a new style can be hard in a saturated market but they seem to have cracked it and created something unusual. Opener ‘Church Burns’ is very country, while Götterdämmerung is as black as metal comes, it certainly keeps them interesting.

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Megadeth are taking the final main stage tour of the weekend and the band tshirts are out in force for them, though they are no longer the true end of the festival due to the Sophie stage going one bigger each night (tonight with Biohazard) this feels like a fitting end to BOA 2023. Replete with the classic 80’s imagery, albeit delivered via screens instead of backdrops these days, Megadeth enter a dark stage and stand at the back, with drummer Dirk Verbeuren risen aloft amongst the speaker stacks. Loading up with ‘Hangar 18’, MegaDave (Mustaine) and the band give us that unmistakable ‘Big Four’ production. Yes it’s thrash, but there’s just that clean element of a band who’ve been perfecting something for this long and absolutely nailing it, and the ginormous inflatable unicorn nodding along at the front of the crowd seems to agree.

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Between each song break the arena shakes with a chant of “Mega-deth” and there is no choice but to headbang along to ‘Conquer or Die!’ really is there? “Two words… lookin good! There are so many beautiful faces tonight” are the words that precede ‘Tornado of Souls’ which I personally think is quite accidentally witty. ‘Symphony of Destruction’ is of course excellent, come through my fellow Guitar Hero kids… as is ‘Peace Sells’.

After a brief break (one of the only bands to continue the pretence of going away and coming back for an encore these days) they call out “This is Bloodstock, all metal, all night!” to which the guy next to me loudly replies “PLAY SOME RIFFS OR FUCK OFF”, much to the amusement of all around us. Finishing up with ‘Mechanix’ and ‘Holy Wars… The Punishment Due’ means Megadeth go out as a solid headline choice for Bloodstock, and certainly one to remember.

Over and out Bloodstock 2023, you have been absofuckinglutely magnificent. With the line-up announcements already – I am positive it’s going to be yet another stunner next year.

Note: Following the festival, it was reported that there had been a death in the campsite on Saturday evening. This publication would like to extend their thoughts and condolences to the family and friends of this person, and to the team at BOA. Bloodstock is a close-knit family and this news is extremely sad.

BST Hyde Park – Bruce Springsteen, REVIEWED!

It’s a drizzly morning in London today, which isn’t stopping thousands of people from descending on BST Hyde Park for New Jersey legend Bruce Springsteen tonight. On one side of the park we have the Trans Pride march in an array of gorgeous colourful outfits and placards, on the other – the Dad-Mecca. Cargo shorts as far as the eye can see, aged Springsteen shirts held as artifacts or badges of honour, and of course The Baseball Cap™. If Merrell walking boots ever did a convention, this should be the location.

Heading into the arena we decide to check out the merchandise, but sadly find the limited edition print poster already sold out. There are plenty of tshirt options though, featuring various motor-city style artwork and images of Bruce looking moody, as well as not one but two baseball cap options to appease the previously mentioned Dads.

Deciding to grab some early dinner we head to a taco place for some absolutely delicious barbacoa beef, before checking out the brilliant James Bay. Rocking out in his signature black hat, a neckerchief and skinny jeans, his voice soars across the site. We are treated to a set of absolute bangers. ‘Best Fake Smile’ and ‘Just For Tonight’ are impossible not to dance to, but ‘Endless Summer Nights’ and ‘Hold Back The River’ are the true epics of this show – James Bay is a fantastic booking for Springsteen day at BST in my opinion.

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On the Birdcage stage, Oscar Corney is giving us feel-good Americana soft rock with a Telecaster in hand, and a decent crowd on deck. “We feeling good? Now that rains fucked off right?” he quips in his distinctly-not-American Cambridge accent, before playing ‘Afterglow’ in a gravelly singing voice which is reminiscent of the Boss himself.

The Chicks (…the artist formerly known as…) are here to present Dallas country and bluegrass with a side of feminism, this is the kind of hoedown I can… get down with. ‘Gaslighter’ isn’t exactly subtle but they sell it well, there’s a lot of banjo and hollerin’ – the sun is out and we’re up for dancing. Yelling “Well hello Hyde Park! Everybody ready for Bruuuce? We are the pre-show entertainment band!” and “London, do you know what a hootenanny is?” before ‘White Trash Wedding’, there’s no denying The Chicks know how to create fun.

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It’s getting late, the sun is on it’s way down, and the arena has suddenly filled up. Low calls of “Bruuuuuuce” begin in the crowd, which sort of sound a bit like booing, but I get the intention. Starting early at 7pm, perhaps in an effort to not repeat curfew mistakes of the past, Bruce Springsteen hits the stage yelling out “Hello London Town” in his classic black shirt and peg-rolled jeans, to rapturous applause.

Bruce is holding his beat-up “mutt” Fender guitar, one of the most iconic pieces of rock and roll history that has been his choice of instrument for the last 35 years – or at least, it looks like it… he does notoriously have various copies of it to save wear and tear. Starting up with ‘My Love Will Not Let You Down’ into ‘Death To My Hometown’ and ‘No Surrender’ it’s a bloody good opening, and the sound quality is top notch.

By song seven ‘The Promised Land’, he still hasn’t stopped for even a few seconds break, and now heads down the front steps to greet his fans and hand over a prized harmonica to someone in the first row. The cameras pan down to fan signs during ‘Out In The Street’ where there are a surprising number of kids on shoulders, one holds a slab of cardboard with “This is my first concert” written on it. A lady a few rows back holds a photo of herself being kissed by Bruce at a previous concert, with the words “Make this the best day of my life again” while an enterprising man a little way over has a sign that says “Tequila 4 a harmonica?”. Bruce declines to take him up on the offer despite it being his tipple of choice according to previous reports.

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Taking what looks like an explosive can of peroni light from someone in the front row, Bruce heads back onto the stage with dripping wet hands, for ‘Working On The Highway’ which honestly sounds a lot like Chucklevision and now I can’t unhear it.

Commodores cover ‘Nightshift’ is an absolute classic, but as he moves into ‘Mary’s Place’ we’re subjected to rain-based kismet, with the refrain “let it rain, let it rain”. Bruce is soaked to the skin and singing into the sky as if he had a pact with someone above for this iconic moment. ‘Backstreets’ is met with a huge round of applause, but I’ve heard at least three songs about “the streets” tonight already and it’s starting to get funny. Luckily ‘Because The Night’ (Patti Smith collab) is up next to turn things up a notch, it’s gorgeously seventies, that sort of twinkly ethereal sound you associate with starry skies around campfires.

The truly anthemic ‘The Rising’ has everyone ‘la la laaa-ing’ along before ‘Badlands’ sees off the last of the evening light over the arena. Well within the curfew limits we get into the encore with the sensational ‘Born To Run’, ‘Bobby Jean’ and ‘Glory Days’, and Bruce finally yelling “I think it’s time to go home”. Obviously this crowd has no intention of stopping and screams back “noooo”, to which he jokes “They’re gonna pull the fucking plug again! I don’t wanna go home either”. The lady in the crowd holding the ‘Bruce, take me dancing in the dark’ sign, practically faints as the opening notes play, but Bruce is busy wiggling his bum at the stage camera and dancing down the steps.

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Yanking his shirt open (which was actually stripper style poppers, a bit less cool than actually ripping buttons off) Bruce thanks the E-Street Band and heads down to lie back into the arms of his fans, before his signature rendition of The Top Notes ‘Twist and Shout’ with a little bit of La Bamba mixed in – the very thing that got him and Paul McCartney shut down last time.

Going out half an hour before Hyde Park’s curfew, on an acoustic ‘I’ll See You In My Dreams’ and softly saying “Thank you so much” renders the crowd absolutely silent. It’s beautiful and a rare musical moment in this type of show. I’m still salty that we didn’t get ‘The River’ or ‘Thunder Road’, but there’s no way to describe how absolutely phenomenal Bruce Springsteen is as a performer and tonight has been a masterclass in classic rock. 73 years old, busting out a 3 hour set with no breaks, back to back 29 songs. Bruce Springsteen truly is The Boss.

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BST Hyde Park – Take That, REVIEWED!

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Back to Hyde Park again this sunny Saturday for some true British treasure in the form of Take That – the band that broke the nation’s heart when they broke up, and then came back as the ultimate zaddies of pop to woo all the mums again.

Before we all get too hot under the collar, Will Young is giving everyone at the main stage a huge wholesome hug. Not my usual fayre by any means but his voice is excellent, the vibes are funky, and I really like his frilly shirt and braces. Though he’s battled through extreme anxiety and more than his fair share of difficult times, Will is possibly one of the nicest men in pop music today. It’s hard not to smile through this performance, particularly when he goes over to hug the Great Oak stage tree, and then says “Hope you’re all hydrating yourselves, it’s hot today!”. Yes Will Young, I will do as you say because I think you’re darling.

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Doors cover ‘Light My Fire’ has the whole arena singing along (and I must say it’s a very respectable crowd for this time of day) but ‘Leave Right Now’ and ‘Evergreen’ are the hits everyone came for, and he delivers.

Over on the Cuban Garage stage we witness the joyful beats of South London Samba, and some frankly incredible rainbow feathered moves from the carnival dancers (two of whom can jump drop into a split, amazing) before we grab some much needed dinner. There are a ridiculous amount of options here for a festival this size, but we try out a Buffalo chicken bowl (way spicier than I’d anticipated) and some ginger tofu Bao (faaaancy) – both great.

Sugababes hit the main stage with a set that surprised me, for the simple reason that I had no idea I knew *that* many of their songs. Starting strong with Adina Howard cover ‘Freak Like Me’ they come out looking every bit the pop princesses they always did, and are absolutely owning the stage for ‘Red Dress’. ‘Hole in the Head’ is fantastic, but if you’re a certain kind of person – even hearing the intro to ‘Too Lost In You’ will both make you think of Christmas AND make you irrationally angry… if you know you know.

“It’s an absolute honour to be here! Look at the weather, the sun is coming out!” they yell, before hitting us with classic trio ‘Push The Button’, ‘Round Round’ and ‘About You Now’. It’s a very clean and precise set, I think I’d like to see them loosen up a little but musically – it’s great, and I appreciate their long battle to reclaim their name and their lost music, to get here.

Ireland’s The Script are fun, and there’s a nice roundness to the fact that they used to tour with Take That back in the day too, but I can’t get by the cringeworthy bit that took a full ten minutes out of their set time to orchestrate. “I wanna call someone’s ex! Who right now is crazy enough to give me their phone?” yells frontman Danny O’Donoghue before grabbing one passed up by security. He proceeds to phone someone’s unsuspecting ex-boyfriend, tells them who he is and lets the crowd scream at them before singing ‘Before The Worst’ at him. Following the serenade, he has the whole arena yell “Goodbye Asshole” at the phone, which is just… not that funny and kinda gauche. ‘If You Could See Me Now’ is dedicated to the memory of their guitarist Mark Sheehan, it’s a great song, but they’ve kinda lost me with the stunt if I’m honest.

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Heading into the final event, the arena has now swelled with people to the point of bursting. The toilet queues are out of control and stretch halfway around the arena, the bars are all loaded and the merch stalls are still going strong. We catch The Cuban Brothers doing another brilliant set on the Cuban Garage stage, but when heading over to grab a tshirt we find that the BST have racked the price up by a tenner since yesterday. Price gouging isn’t a good look for an event – especially when The Cubans themselves just said the tees were £20 on stage and would be when they hit the online shop. Not cool.

Heading down to the Golden Circle area to find a good place to watch Take That, we are immediately pulled into the throng alongside an excited lady wielding a giant face cut out of Gary Barlow (a little disconcerting) and we can see another woman in a Take That patch jacket down the front. This particular person was spotted last night, camping out in Hyde Park ready to be right there today, the dedication is on point.

As intros go, this one is pretty epic. A hoarde of dancers enter the stage seemingly from everywhere, and set themselves up all over the giant lighted staircase that runs from the backdrop right down to the main floor, in front of which a giant runway ending in a second smaller stage area has been set. The band emerge to ear-bleeding levels of frenetic fan screams all around us. The cacophony of the mums knows no bounds. Include me in that, because I cannot get enough of their fashion ensembles tonight. Howard is wearing something that I can only describe as… Newscaster-school-football-kit-in-the-seventies. It is ochre, striped and flared, and I want it. Gary has decided to come as Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty, and Mark is… well Mark is wearing an ostrich. A whole one.

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There might only be three of them now (no sign of Robbie despite him also being on tour… boooo) but right out of the gates ‘The Flood’ sounds absolutely brilliant, seems like they’re going to be on top form tonight. Yelling “Good evening Hyde Paaaaaark!” the trio head down the long runway to the middle of the pulsing crowd, “…this is gonna be an amazing night tonight, we want you to sing along and dance along!” and huge blasts of ticker-tape confetti erupt from around them as fireworks go off along the front of the stage. It’s pretty clear they’ve come here to party and I’m instantly all-in.

‘Could It Be Magic’ brings glittery screens and their OG boyband dance moves, and I am shooketh to my core as I myself (ten years their junior) have injured myself getting out of bed, why only this morning. Special guest Calum Scott of Britain’s Got Talent fame, joins the band for ‘Greatest Day’ as he had been part of the reworked song for their film which was released last month, before taking the stage to himself for his cover of Robyn’s ‘Dancing On My Own’.

BeeGees cover ‘How Deep is Your Love’ and ‘A Million Love Songs’ are the catalyst for a whole lot of overwhelmed fangirl sobbing, and my sister who had nipped to the loos at an opportune moment belted back to us to sing “AND HERE I AAAAAAM” in our faces. ‘Shine’ heralds a delightful outfit change, including a fancy white top-hat (which is later thrown out into the crowd, what an excellent bit of memorabilia for some lucky person) for Mark, a green velvet biker jacket for Gary (I would also like to own this) and a tux jacket with golden-winged lapels for Howard. They are taking this photo opportunity very seriously and I love it.  Despite the air of professionalism, they joke “We might miss a few of our cues tonight, the runway is way longer than we thought… it takes ages to get back up there” and then mention how appreciative they are of everyone coming back to gigs after some weird years during the pandemic.

© Credit Dave Hogan / Hogan Media for BST

Stopping for a quick break to read some of the signs being held up in the front rows, we are treated to the truest representation of the British wit… “This song is older than us” Gary reads as two kids scream holding the sign, and another “I think of you when I shag my husband” with (presumably) the husband standing alongside the woman laughing. “I left my husband in hospital to be here” has the entire crowd in agreement on the state of her morals, but the best one by far was “Today is MY Greatest Day – I made it! F U Cancer!”. Having an arena full of thousands of people cheer you on and celebrate with you must be phenomenal in itself, but when the band dedicate the next song to Laura, holder of the sign, she looks absolutely beside herself with joy. It’s a lovely heartfelt moment.

Telling everyone this is the “Song that brought us back”, we are treated to a little acoustic guitar for ‘Patience’ before a huge singalong for ‘Pray’ and the most incredible original video dance moves, an absolute highlight. ‘Back For Good’ is also brilliant, and I can’t help but dance to Sigma cover ‘Cry’ under an obscene amount of ticker-tape spewing into the air above us.

© Credit Dave Hogan / Hogan Media for BST


Another quick outfit change into the most ridiculous giant white furry coats and it’s time for ‘Relight My Fire’ with the actual for-real LuLu, who is sporting some excellent sparkly flared trousers. ‘Hold Up A Light’ sees the crowd holding up phone torches across the arena, but ‘Never Forget’ is the true epitome of Take That-ness and every single person has their hands up for it. “You know the choreography, join in!” hardly needs to be said because we are all totally invested at this point of the proceedings.

Going out in style with ‘Rule The World’ leaves me in no doubt that Take That are making yet another triumphant return, following their performance at the Corrie-Nache earlier this year. Looking over to see my sister and her sister-in-law doing a little cry and singing along, I reckon they’ve gained another confirmed fan in me tonight, it was a bloody brilliant show, so Take That.

© Credit Dave Hogan / Hogan Media for BST